Page 37 of Hate So Deep

Halfway down the stairs, I pause though, taking in the low rumble of voices and laughter from the kitchen.

It feels so wrong to enter the fray, knowing these people didn’t care about my brother and to them, this is a normal Christmas Eve morning.

However, I can’t hide in my room forever.

At the base of the stairs, I stop long enough to get my shit together because I refuse to show weakness around the pack of hyenas constantly sniffing for my blood.

Strangely, my heart doesn’t feel the same way about Dirk though because when I hear his deep voice behind me, tears fill my eyes.

“Lauren? Are you okay?”

Immediately, my limbs go noodly, and the pain bubbling just below my skin rushes out in a torrent.

After everything that’s transpired between us, it shouldn’t be Dirk who I feel comfortable being vulnerable with but as has been established too many times to count, I’m a lost freaking cause when it comes to this man.

Thankfully, I manage to bite back my sobs as I mumble, “I’m great.”

His brows furrow as he searches my eyes before he wraps his arms around me and says against my ear, “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

Shuddering, I fist the fabric of his shirt while my shoulders heave but all too soon, reality intrudes and I step away when I hear Colt say, “Where’d Dirk go?”

Dirk glances over my shoulder with a frown and exhausted under the weight of grief pulling at my limbs, I whisper, “Go.”

When he looks up, I stare as he says once again, “I’m sorry.”

For what? My brother’s death or treating me like a goddamn shameful secret?

Mustering a feeble smile, I step to the side as Colt appears in the hall, glancing between us with a furrowed brow before he says, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Dirk says with a shrug as I back toward the bathroom. “Just saying hello to Lauren.”

Once again, Colt glances at my face and I summon a bitchy smile before escaping beyond the door and closing it behind me.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Colt asks and I press my head to the cool surface, shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Nope,” Dirk replies.

“Really? You wanna tell me why you’ve got a nickname for my sister?”

Sister? Is that a first or does he really think of me as such?

There’s a beat of silence before Dirk says, “What? Her name is fucking Lauren, dick.”

After that something brushes the wall and when I hear a grunt, I turn my head and press my ear against the door.

Except, silence descends, and I grab the knob, thinking to intervene just as Colt says, “I’ma ask you one more time. You got something to tell me?”

“No,” Dirk says and I back away.

Would it be so bad to admit we fooled around for fucks sake? I guess it would.

Even now, Dirk is denying me, and I can’t say that I appreciate the burn rolling up my sternum and settling in my chest.

“Fine,” Colt grunts. “When’s your woman coming by?”

Chapter 15

NOW

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