Page 4 of Hate So Deep

He wasn’t exactly gentle when he flipped me around and fucked me without mercy.

Shifting around, I try to decide if I feel sore or anything else but who the fuck knows.

Although this is all pathetically stupid, it doesn’t answer the most pertinent question that I’ve been avoiding and with another groan, I send her a new message.

Was my brother there?

Caro:Buck? No, I heard he got in some shit last night though

That’s a huge fucking understatement and since I don’t know how to answer, I set my phone aside and take another shower because yeah, now I feel really freaking gross.

All the while, I can’t help but wonder if we would be here like this now, if Buck had never discovered the truth about our family.

Either way, Caro’s confirmation that my brother wasn’t at the party last night eases some of my fears but leaves me wondering who gave me the bruises circling my arms and where all the blood came from.

Later when I emerge, searching for Mom, she’s still at the hospital leaving me completely alone.

Again.

Chapter 2

THEN

Lauren

The bass music thrums in my veins as I reach for the proffered joint dangling in front of me. Danny Marker, the star quarterback at Academy, tips his head with a sexy grin but I’m immune when I take another hit, welcoming the haze that clouds my thoughts.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in.

“Don’t look now but trouble just arrived,” Tori says beside me, and I give her an arch look before erupting into giggles.

Rolling her eyes, she swats me on the arm before saying, “Gimme some of that.”

After she grabs the roach from my hand, I drop against the cushions on the floor and stare at the ceiling.

The music roars through my ears and I raise my hands, waving them in the air.

Finally, I can breathe although if I let it through, I know the shit swirling through my head will overtake my pleasant buzz.

My parents were going at it again when I snuck out earlier. The hateful words still press at my chest despite the pleasant haze from the weed.

I can’t imagine this will go on for much longer, which leaves the dreaded reality that divorce is probably in their future.

How do I feel about that? I don’t know because it’s hard to see anything clearly when it’s so fucking toxic in our home…all the goddamn time.

When Tori coughs beside me, I glance at her sideways and she waves away the smoke wafting in front of her eyes before handing the roach to the next person in line.

After that I close my eyes. Maybe I could sleep? Wouldn’t that be novel?

Of course, as soon as I have the thought, the deep, raspy voice of none other than my damn brother says above me, “Hey, get up. Mom’s on a rampage. We need to go home. Now.”

Any relaxation I hoped to achieve pops like a balloon, and I flip my eyes open to find Buck standing over me wearing his perpetual scowl.

When he grabs me by the arm, I pull away as soon as we’re standing to which he grunts his frustration before running his hands through his thick blonde hair.

I silently agree,what a horrible way to ruin a good buzz.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him I’m not going but when I spy the tic in his jaw, I decide against it.

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