Page 7 of Hate So Deep

At any rate, this is the last place I want to be, but Dad insisted, so here I fucking am.

Maybe I should be grateful he wants me around but would it kill him to set aside his other family for a fucking day so we can be alone?

My stepmom, or whatever, has been kind but it’s hard to look into her eyes and not see the brittle hate that shines from my mom’s whenever she speaks of Celia Theroux.

Did my mom turn into a bitter cow because of Dad’s actions? Or did her nastiness push him away?

I know he thinks he’s helping but reminding me of the family I don’t really have is a low blow.

He’s moved on while I’ve lost the only people who care about me, although I concede that Buck may have been home with us, he checked out of this family a long time ago.

My mind swirls with the possibilities and I’m tempted to call Caro to bitch about it, but she’s got her own family shit to deal with.

Of course, I could go home but it would only create another wedge between me and my dad which I don’t want to worsen. It’s tense enough already.

“We’re so glad you’re here, Lala,” Celia says when I step into the dining room.

She’s beautiful, I concede with her dark hair and those stunning blue-gray eyes but she’s not my mom and dare I say it, it feels like a betrayal to accept this woman knowing she ultimately broke my family apart.

“Sweetie,” Dad says while I stand rigidly in his arms before he tugs me toward the table. “How are you?”

“Fine,” I mumble, fighting off the bitter bile that always makes an appearance when I’m around my dad.

To be fair, he’s never wavered in his attempts to maintain our relationship, but it crumbled the day he announced he was leaving my mom forherand his other children.

Nothing he does now can fix that.

So why am I here?

Cat, my half-sister, comes around the corner. For a moment we just stare at each other. We share the same features and dark hair but where she’s slim and tall, I’m petite and curvy.

Still, it’s like looking in a mirror and it freaks me out.

Fighting another surge of unease, I stiffen when Celia says, “Thanks honey. Let’s eat. I’m starved.”

When Dad leans in and they share a kiss, I look away, curling my lip, only to meet the cold stare of Colt as he steps through the door with Finn right behind him.

We trade glares until Finn elbows him in the ribs, and he grunts, “Hey.”

Meanwhile, Finn smiles and waves. “Hi Lala.”

Before this all came out and we became one big dysfunctional family, I saw her although I’m sure she wouldn’t remember.

It was after I defied Dirk’s high-handed demands and showed up at one of their parties.

She was the blonde Dirk held back while Colt beat the shit out of some dude. The particulars of her relationship with Dirk versus Colt remain a mystery but I can’t quite like the pretty blonde knowing she might have had Dirk first.

Mustering a weak smile, I mumble, “Hey.”

Rubbing my brow, I grit my teeth when Celia stands from the table with a soft smile. I don’t have words to describe how surreal this is but I’m guessing my expression does the job because it fades, and she looks away.

“I forgot the pepper,” she says and after that an awkward silence descends while we eat and I eye the beer in Dad’s hand with a single-minded intensity.

I wish that I could partake because it would make this meal bearable, but I can’t exactly crack one open in front of him, which is why, I silently sigh when he turns to me and asks, “Well, Lala, how did your tests go?”

My tests? That’s what he wants to know?

When Celia smiles and glances my way, I turn my head.

---