Page 22 of Companion Required

“Admire? For what?”

Kieran sighed, grabbed his laptop and flipped the top open. Within seconds he had opened a browser and brought up a number of windows showcasing Kennedy’s achievements. He’d already saved many to his personal favourites. When Jeff explained that he couldn’t make out the text in the articles without his glasses, Kieran obliged by reading them out loud to him. Twenty minutes later, Jeff sat in quiet contemplation.

“You know, when people ask me about my son, I have no idea what to tell them, because he’s never let me into his life. I know I was a strict father—like my father was with me—but I was equally strict with Reagan, and she never shut me out. Thank you for showing me this. We knew he ran the business capably, but had no idea he’d been this successful. And he did all this without my help, financially or otherwise.”

“Hope you don’t mind me saying this, Jeff, having only just met you. But I sense that all he ever wanted from you was your approval.”

“Sounds to me as though he doesn’t need it, or that it’d be too late, anyway.”

Kieran tilted his head back and stared into the night sky.

“I had this English Lit teacher at school, tough as nails and as straight as they came, teaching my least favourite topic. But I needed to get a good grade to get into my university of choice. For me, Shakespeare was like trying to understand a foreign language, and kept dragging my overall grade in the subject down. I could never get past a B minus. Didn’t help that I thought she didn’t like me, but at least she was consistent, because everyone else in my class thought she hated them, too. So I threw myself at the main problem—Hamlet, of all bloody plays—read everything I could get my hands on, studied weekends, evenings, saw multiple remakes of the film and even sat through a couple of performances at the Old Vic. Kind of got to love the story in the end, got to see so many human flaws in Hamlet, the man, and so many subtle themes running through the play. And when she read out the class results of the mock exam, announced that not only had I got an A, but that my essay was something everyone in the class should aspire to, I almost burst with pride. Managed to get A-stars in four other subjects, but that was the one I was most proud of. What I’m trying to say is, it’s the people we least expect to hear praise from whose praise we value the most. Does that make sense?”

Jeff stared at Kieran for a moment before his gaze dropped to Kieran’s shoulder and became unfocused.

“For someone so young, you are wise beyond your years. Yes, what you say makes perfect sense. My father preferred to point out our shortcomings and ignore our successes—said that’s what makes a man—and I suppose I adopted the same method with my children. Looking back now, I almost feel as though they’ve both succeeded in their own way in spite of me, not because of anything I said or did.”

“You’re proud of them both?”

“Of course I am.”

“So I guess the only question you need to ask yourself is, do they know?”

After one final puff, Jeff stubbed his cigar out repeatedly, his gaze trained on the saucer. Even though he said nothing, Kieran could tell he’d processed the question. Maybe Kieran had gone too far.

“On that note, young man, I’m heading back to bed. See if I can grab a couple more hours before breakfast. I suggest you do the same.”

“I will. After I’ve dried off a little.”

Jeff stood and went to leave, but then hesitated and turned back.

“I never asked about your own father. What does he do?”

“No idea. He walked out on us when I was seven, just before my brother was born.”

Jeff said nothing then, but gazed up at the stars, gently shaking his head. “What kind of man would do that to his children?”

“You see, Jeff? You’re already better than you think in the fatherhood stakes.”

Jeff sighed deeply and began to walk away, but faltered once again.

“Kieran?”

“Jeff?”

“I’m glad you’re here. Good see my boy finally finding someone sociable and genuine. And I get the feeling he needs that right now. To bring a little sunshine back into his life. Good night, son.”

“‘Night, Jeff.”

After Jeff departed, Kieran sat staring at the ash-filled saucer, feeling like a total fraud.

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