Page 94 of Scoring Position

Nico hadn’t come this far to walk away without answers.

They sat across from each other with Nico’s chess board between them. Ryan set it up, as though he needed something to do with his hands.

Nico understood the impulse. At least he had his tea. He pulled it toward himself and held it in front of him like a shield.

When the silence had stretched on for an uncomfortably long time, Ryan groaned and scrubbed his face. “I hate how awkward this is. And I hate that it’s all my fault.” He pulled his hands away and set them on the table.

Finally Nico couldn’t take it anymore—the words burst out of him. “I thought we were happy.” He’d thoughtRyanwas happy, with him. “But then….” He set his mug down and mimed an explosion, complete with sound effects.

“We were.” Ryan nudged a pawn forward, then glanced up from the board. “That was the problem, for me. You snuck up on me. I showed up and Rees made it clear that I was supposed to make nice with you, and we both know howthatwent.” He shrugged, but his shoulders stayed drawn up close to his ears. “I had no interest in being Rees’s spy or your spiritual guide to being a gay hockey player or whatever role the internet invented for me. But the more I paid attention, the more Iwantedto help. You were convinced you could carry the team if you pushed yourself hard enough. And then you let me in, and suddenly we were friends, and it turned out you were hiding a sense of humor under all that”—he made a gesture that encompassed Nico from head to toe—“and the next thing I know, whoops!”

Was that supposed to mean something to Nico? He pushed a pawn. “Whoops?” he echoed. What didwhoopsmean? Ryan’s face had gone pink. “I’m sorry, is talking about your feelings giving youhives?”

“I told you I was allergic!” Ryan slid lower in his chair. “When I was in college, I dated this guy Josh.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “And I really did think it was true love forever. When I got offered that PTO, I was so excited. He had a degree he could use anywhere. I thought he’d want….” He heaved a sigh and moved his knight. “I never thought my success would mean the end of our relationship, but he made it clear I wasn’t worth the effort. It left a mark.”

If Ryan knew what that felt like, why had he done it to Nico? He moved his own knight. “I know the feeling.”

Ryan winced in acknowledgment. “I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but I wanted you to know, in case….”

Nico tilted his head and waited for him to finish. If he finished within case it happens again, Nico might as well get his things and leave.

But Ryan surprised him, his voice catching on the words. “…in case this was one of those things you managed to convince yourself was your fault.” He took a shaky breath. “What happened was my fault. I never wanted to make you feel like that. You were right. It could be—wecould be great.” He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry I was such an ass when you tried to make me confront it.”

Nico felt as if a weight had been lifted, and now his muscles were weak from relief. “Okay,” he said. His voice sounded far away.

Ryan raised his head. “That’s it?”

“I accept your apology.” If Ryan wanted more than that, if he’d changed his mind about being willing to put in the effort, he was going to have to come out and say so. “It doesn’t put things back to where they were.”

“I don’t think we should go back to the way things were,” Ryan said quickly.

Nico’s heart sank, but before he could agree to save face, Ryan went on.

“I hurt you, and I don’t want to do that again. So if you wanted—I’d have to earn your trust back anyway. It was all….” He gestured around him. “Too much hockey player, not enough boyfriend?” He swallowed audibly. “Maybe we could start over as regular people? If you… if you still think there’s something worth working for. Because I do.”

“Yes,” Nico said immediately. He had to bite his lip to hide a premature smile. That was exactly what he thought went wrong between them, and exactly how he wanted to fix it. “Let’s—um. I want to do that.”

And maybe it wouldn’t work. But at least this time he’d know why, and he’d know he did his best.

“Okay.” Ryan gave a weak, relieved smile. “Okay, good.”

“But there’s one more thing I have to ask.” He paused. “I still need to know what Vorhees said to you. All of it, I mean.”

“God.Thatasshole.” Ryan rubbed the side of his face. “He really did say the boyfriend part and the head out of my ass part.” He blew out a breath. “And then he basically said if I didn’t make sure you did what he wanted, he’d sabotage your career.”

Nico’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

Ryan gave him an uneasy smile. “Right? I mean, the guy was just… what a power trip.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone?”

“What do you think I’d been doing!” He huffed and crossed his arms. “Rees made me think we were buddies, that I should come to him with shit. I let him know about my gut feeling about Vorhees onmultiple occasions. But when Vorhees said he’d tank your career on purpose… I knew. Suddenly it made sense why Rees was so hands-off. Any shady shit Vorhees was into, Rees was neck-deep in it too.”

Shit. “You could’ve toldme,” Nico argued. The pieces were falling into place. “Instead of… I don’t even know what was going through your head.”

Ryan fidgeted with his bishop.

Nico groaned. “You were making sure he couldn’t use you against me.”

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