Page 39 of Unrivaled

“Hey!” Max frowned. “Seriously. Do I smell bad? Is it not doing its job?”

Grady sighed. “Do you wash your dishes with toilet bowl cleaner?”

For some reason, Max glanced at the cupboard beneath the kitchen sink. “I don’tthinkso….”

Augh. “Same concept.” Grady plunked the bottle down on the kitchen table. He was tempted to throw it in the garbage, but that seemed rude. Besides, if it was the dog’s dinner time, it was probably long past time for him to hit the road. “Anyway, I… I should go. Thanks.” Wait,what? Why was he thanking Max for sex? It had been Max’s idea. “For the, um. Help.” Right. Help. With his socialization skills. Because that was why Grady was here in the first place.

Could he get more awkward?

Somehow, instead of making fun of him the way Grady deserved and expected, Max just kind of smiled. Grady’s appreciation must’ve taken him off guard, because he blinked a few times and his mouth moved soundlessly before he finally said, “Sure. Um, good luck on your next date.”

“Thanks,” Grady said again.

Then, before he could say anything else ridiculous, he made a tactical retreat.

NOW THATMax had gotten what he wanted out of Grady’s online dating experience, he stopped steering him toward disaster. Max didn’t want to get invested in “winning” that game when winning was starting to look less casual and more… intentional.

If Grady were less intense in bed, or less hilariously bitchy, or an uptight prick all the way through instead of just on the surface, he’d have had no problems. But Max was starting togethim, what made him tick, what made him laugh. He’d gotten a glimpse of the real person under the Wet Cat face, and he liked him. But he wouldn’t put himself in a position where he got more out of this whatever-it-was with Grady than Grady did.

Which meant it was time to, like, give back. And what better way than walking Grady through the finer points of weeding out losers from their online profiles?

The Monsters started their season with a road trip, so Max had plenty of travel time to spend texting Grady his tips. Mostly this involved reviewing screenshots and circling red flags—guys who mentioned a “crazy ex” in the first ten minutes of texting were an automatic no; Max couldn’t believe he had to spell that out—but when he wrotelol that guy is such a beer, he found himself explaining Drink Theory.

There’s nothing wrong w beer. Theres a beer for everyone. It quenches ur thirst. But its empty calories, bro. no substance. Beers are for sex, not long term relationships.

The three dots on his screen flashed at him for a few seconds before Grady’s reply appeared.Mixed drinks and shots aren’t empty calories?

Damn it, he had a point, but Max wasn’t going to admit it.Caesars come w pickles, he said instead.

Anyway, I don’t agree. If you’re going to drink consistently, isn’t something less intense better? Doing tequila shots all night will kill you.

Hmm. It was possible Max needed to rethink Drink Theory to account for relationships rather than hookups.But what a way 2 go!!!

Grady sent him an incredibly judgmental emoji. Then he said,What if I’m a beer drinker?

Max snorted.Ur not. mixed drinks 4 u. a beer will bore the fuck out of u within 10 minutes. U need some1 on ur level.

So I’m a mixed drink?

Fishing for compliments? Something made Max glance at Hedgie, passed out in the plane seat next to him. He curled his body against the side of the plane anyway, which felt… stupid. It wasn’t like he was doing anything suspicious. But he didn’t want to explain. He liked having this part of Grady to himself.

Ya. Alcohol content varies depending on the pour. Can last all night… or pound it back in 1 go.He added a halo emoji in case the innuendo was too subtle.

Predictably, Grady ignored the bait.What about you? Are you a mixed drink?

Oh, flattery! Max smiled in spite of himself.Nah. Shot. Packs a punch.And Max didn’t have a track record of relationships himself. He knew his strengths.

Can’t argue with that, Grady replied.

Well, no. He had firsthand knowledge.

Max told himself he wasn’t disappointed Grady agreed.Anyway. My vote is bachelor number 3. Lmk how it goes.

In reply, he got a thumbs-up emoji, so at least Grady was embracing some of the trappings of modern communication.

“No sexting on the plane,” Hedgie mumbled beside him.

Max looked up from his phone. “I’m not sexting. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

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