Page 136 of Mistaken Magic

"Hawkewanted to kiss me,"Iblurted out.

"Notsurprised at all,"Keirsaid.

"Aspenthinks you intend to be more than just a friend to me,"Itried next, not knowing how else to explain the weirdness of my girlfriend being ok with that.

Henodded. "Ido.Ialso have respect for your relationship with her."

"Idon't know whatI'mdoing with her,"Iadmitted. "NotwhyI'mwith her -thathits me every time she walks into a room.It'smore the 'what to do' part of actually, you know, being with her."

Sohe turned on his side. "Tellme?"

"It'slike she's so beautiful,"Isaid. "I'venever been attracted to a girl before, but withAspen, it's this subtle happiness that's there when she's around.Myeyes are always drawn to her, andIfind myself smiling like an idiot.Iwant to hold her, listen to her, and spend every moment with her.BeingwithAspenis likebeing with a best friend, exceptIwant to kiss her and touch her any chanceIcan get.Shegets me excited, but that's where things always fizzle out."

"Becauseneither of you knows how to make the first move," he told me. "She'sgiving you space to figure things out, and you're making yourself nervous because you're overthinking.Doyou want to sleep with her,Rain?"

"Yeah,"Ibreathed, looking over at him. "I'mjust convinced it's going to be a mess."

Thesweetest smile lifted one side of his mouth. "Kiss.Startwith her lips, work your way to her neck.Whenshe relaxes, then keep going down.Takeyour time.Don'trush for the end goal.Enjoyeach kiss and touch you get.Whenneither of you can breathe, tease her nipples.Useyour leg for her to grind against.Pullher in, up against your body.Bythat point, you should both be shedding clothes, and then see where it goes."

"Whyare you telling me this?"Iasked.

"First, because the idea of you andAspengoing at it is sexy," he admitted. "There'san appeal there, although it's probably not the one you'd expect."

"Thegirl-on-girl fantasy guys always have?"Iasked.

"That'sexactly what it's not," he assured me. "It'smore the ranking of competition.Aspen?She'simpressive.Beautiful, intelligent, powerful, and all the things we judge ourselves against.Foryou to be attracted to her makes sense.Shootfor the best, right?Butyou also flirt with me, which implies a compliment you cannot understand.Onethat ranks me near her, in a way.Onethat saysI'malso beautiful, intelligent, and powerful."

"Butaren't you?"Iasked. "Andhow is that sexy?"

"I'mnot that powerful," he clarified. "Asfor sexy?Howis it not?Youare beautiful.Sheis beautiful.Iam not blind, andIdo have a very good imagination.It'sbasically the majority of a young man's sex life, you know."

Whichmade me laugh. "Ok, fair enough.Ijust feel like this whole dating thing is the one part of fae lifeI'mstruggling with."

"Well,Ido have an ulterior motive," he said. "Yousee, we're having a relaxed conversation about you with a lover.Onethat isn't me.It'snice.Ifeel included.Thesame thing works the other way around.This?Thefriendship?Thecompanionshipis the pleasure of the mind.It'sone of many beautiful things about our society."

"Doyour parents have other lovers?"Iasked.

Heshook his head. "No, but they raised me to think of it as normal.Mymother married my father to get away from her old life.Thatwas their agreement.Myparents love each other very much, and while they wouldn't stop the other from taking a lover, they've just never had the chance.Theywere from two very different communities, you see.ARomeoandJuliettype of story.Theirrelationship wasn't accepted by either group, which made it so easy for them to come here."

"That'ssweet,"Isaid.

"It'ssad," he corrected. "Allthe happiness they lost because they dared to be true to themselves."ThenKeirreached over to shift my hair over my shoulder, and he changed the subject. "Italked toBrackenthis morning."

"Yeah?"Iturned to face him, shifting to my side so we mirrored each other. "Whatabout?"

"He'smaking me hisTA,"Keirsaid. "Asa teaching assistant,I'llbe doing less learning and more instructing next semester.Well, so long asIkeep my grades up.IfI'mgood enough, he'll make me the head of the sentinels for my final year here.It'sall but setting me up to become the junior weapons instructor afterIgraduate."

Asmile immediately claimed my lips. "Yeah?"

Henodded. "That'swhatIwant.Itdoesn't hurt that it means more time working with you and the otherAPstudents."Thistime, when he swept at my hair, it was beside my cheek.Histouch was soft, almost a caress. "WhatI'msaying is there's no rush.Ilike being your friend.Ilike listening to you talk aboutAspen.Ireally like that you let me touch you."

"YouknowI'mgoing to tell her all of this, right?"

Henodded. "I'mcounting on it.Now, how about we make sure you're still here next year?Math, is it?"Hewoke up my tablet and tapped the icon for my school books. "Andso you know,I'mwaiting for you to make the first move."

"That'skinda the partI'mbad at,"Iadmitted.

"Andyet you're lying a little closer to me today than you were last time.You'renot bad at anything,Rain.You'rejust overwhelmed.AllIneed is for you to set the gap between us, andI'llbelieve you.That, beautiful, counts as a first move."

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