Page 167 of Phoenix's Fire

"You think so?" Saveah asked.

Kanik nodded. "I mean, Tasult was a little older when I met him, but yeah. Always so brave, so willing to rush in, and - " He stopped with a groan. "Sorry."

Saveah had her lips pressed together and her eyes were glossy, but she just shook her head. "No, it's okay. I actually like that. I like knowing there's still a little piece of him left in this world, and it's just not the same with Taris. She might have his eyes, but she's going to look like me."

"And Tamin's just like Tasult, but with more black," Kanik said, nodding to show he understood.

"I wish I'd gotten to know him," I said gently.

"He would've loved you, Ayla," Saveah assured me. "Tasult was such a good man, and the complete opposite to Zasen."

"And to Rymar," Kanik added. "Tasult was decisive, but cheerful. He was gentle, but not a pushover. He was also one of the most giving people I've ever met."

"Yeah..." Saveah breathed, looking up to blink too hard. "Damn it! Every time I think I'm done crying, I start up all over again. I'm so sorry."

"No," I told her. "Grieve. Don't try to push it away. Down there, we weren't allowed to. We had to pretend like going to God's kingdom was a reward. Saveah, I was punished because I cried when Mom died, and that was even worse. So don'ttry to stop it. Your man sounds like the kind of person who deserves to have tears shed over him."

She reached over to cup the back of my head. "Thank you. I just keep thinking that as hard as it is to accept he's gone, it would be so much worse if it was one of the kids."

"Which is why I will always keep them safe," I swore.

"We all will," Kanik assured her. "Ayla's already keeping the Moles out of Lorsa."

"You, little sister, really are the answer we've been waiting for." She smiled at me.

"Our new beginning," Kanik agreed.

I shook my head. "I think Zasen gets credit for that. He's the one who gave me a chance."

"To torture information out of you," Saveah countered.

"To manipulate it out of her," Kanik corrected. "He knows torture doesn't work. He needed her to speak our language first - and there she was, asking if we would teach her how. I think the only thing Zasen gets credit for is not killing her on sight. He is the one who realized we never see their women."

"Or most of the men," I reminded them. "Only the hunters. In the compound, there are so many families who do other things. Teachers, those who watch over children, wives, fungus farmers, sanitation, and even organizers." I sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder if all the men are as bad as we thought, but I think they are."

"But Tobias isn't?" Kanik asked.

I could only shrug. "Tobias was supposed to be big and stupid. That was why he never punished us, they said. He was too dumb to realize we'd insulted him by telling him what to do."

"And now it sounds like your friend is directing him," Kanik said. "Ayla, are you sure he isn't? And if the man is an idiot, will he keep his mouth shut, or will Callah end up paying for it?"

"No," I promised. "Because what he did?" Then I paused. "Unless he's working for them? If they were told to get me to talk? But why? They think Dragons are animals!"

"Do the leaders?" Saveah asked. "Because a lot of times, the one in charge lies to the rest to make them obedient followers. That's how the empire of men crumbled, Ayla."

I paused, chewing at my lower lip, and glanced over at where Tamin was making Holly roll over. "I just feel like Tobias is a good man."

"Women's intuition usually is right about those things," Saveah said, looking over at Kanik. "Especially women who've spent their lives learning how to read all the subtle cues about a man's mental state to keep from getting hurt."

Kanik hummed in agreement. "That's actually a very good point. One I intend to tell Zasen." Then he flicked a finger, gesturing for me to look at the boy. "Go play, Ayla. You know you want to, and I have a feeling that's what Tamin was really hoping for."

"Okay," I said, pushing my chair back. "And since you're holding the baby, Saveah can come play too."

"Oh!" she gasped, shoving her chair back as well. "Puppy time! I guess there really are some benefits to being the big sister. Show me how to command the dog, Ayla."

"First," I said, "you need to pet her."

"Need, huh?"

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