Page 238 of Phoenix's Fire

"And me?" Kanik asked.

Rymar leaned forward to see him better. "You're teaching her that it's okay," he said. "That there isn't any pressure."

"And that what she feels isn't wrong," I added. "She likes you, Kanik. To Ayla, that is probably the most terrifying thing she can imagine, and she's still not pulling away."

"But she kissed both of you?" he shot back.

"Mhm," Rymar said. "Zasen kissed her, proving it wouldn't be torture. I was practice for the real thing." And he pointed at Kanik. "Because Ayla never got to bea stupid adolescent kissing her mirror or friends. She's playing catchup, and it seems she hasn't written off the idea of any of us."

"Which means we'd better not fuck this up," I said, pushing to my feet. "Breakfast, Ry? I'm already cooking for one person with a hangover."

"I'll help," Kanik said, but when he stood, he looked at Rymar and nodded. "Thanks for making sure I don't give up."

"Slowly," Rymar said. "Ayla doesn't have all the emotional protections most of us do, but she's letting us in."

"Trusting us," I corrected.

"Both," Kanik said as he opened the door. "So let's make sure she knows how to recover from a hangover."

Seventy-Four

Meri

The sewing machine made a soft clicking sound as I rocked the foot pedal to keep it moving. In my hands, the two colors of bright fabric were coming together to create a man's shirt. Brown and turquoise, cut diagonally - it was nothing like I'd ever imagined before.

Lessa had stepped out a while ago. A customer, she'd said, but that was okay. I knew how to put the pieces together. Now, deciding on which fasteners would go with this bold fabric was not something I was comfortable with, but I was learning. It felt good, almost like I was finding myself.

Then Lessa returned. "Okay!" she said, heading straight for me. "This is your cut."

I let the machine slow to a stop. "What?"

She reached over, took my hand, and placed a collection of paper in it. "Pay, Meri. Those are bills, and they represent a value. You can use it to buy things."

"What things?"

"Everything," she said, claiming her chair so she could face me. "Food, clothes, jewelry, games, or anything else you can imagine."

I looked down at the "bills" and smiled. "I don't know what I'd spend it on."

"You can save it too," she explained. "Keep it for when you need it. Oh, you can also pay people for services, like having laundry done for you. So you get to do the things you like, and someone else gets paid to do the things you don't."

Okay, this was a brilliant idea. I quickly wrapped the paper up and stuck it in my pocket, thinking of all the things I didn't like doing. Then again, I didn't really do those things up here. Mostly, my life was pretty easy.

"Or," Lessa said slyly, "you could use that to have a meal with Ayla and let someone else cook. We call it going out."

I probably should do that. I hadn't spent a lot of time with Ayla in a while, andshe'd been so kind to me when I'd arrived. She still checked in too - or at least Jeera said she did. But ever since she'd gotten the dog, we hadn't spent as much time together.

But it wasn't really her dog. It was me.

"What if I don't want to do that?" I asked, looking up at Lessa.

She tilted her head, leaning so she could see me. "Why not? I thought Ayla was your friend. Has she changed too much?"

"No!" I hurried to say. "It's not that."

"Then what?" she asked.

I turned a bit to face her. "Ayla's always trying to reassure me about how things with the baby will be okay. I don't think she even knows about all the options - or that I even have them. She just keeps saying I'll survive, and while that's scary, all the rest of it is terrifying too!"

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