I hadn't asked. Nope, I'd struggled to keep from slamming the door to my room. In my mind, if something had happened between them, it would've been consensual, because that was Rymar. And if she'd agreed, well, that meant I didn't have a chance.
Then we'd had that talk. Zasen had started it, clearly thinking the wrong thing. Granted, it sounded like he'd had his ass chewed for kissing her, so he was merely repaying the favor. There was something a little amusing about it. But when the beautiful girl turned her attention to the handsome men I lived with, it always ended up the same way.
She picked them. One, both, or whatever she could get. Me? I was the quiet guy, the short man, and the boring brown one. I was the guy with a great personality. I knew that, and I wanted to say I was okay with it, but Ayla had caught me off-guard.
And now those two were talking about her refusing to date? About her not wanting to be trapped while still being curious about relationships? Rymar had been sharing his money with the rest of us like he was our partner or something. Zasen had stopped worrying about whose day it was to handle dinner. Ever since we'd brought Ayla home, the regular routine of our lives had changed, and that talk had made me realize something.
We were acting like partners. Not like roommates, but like men tied together in a family. Because Rymar had still been dating, I hadn't even realized it - until that talk. Now, everything was so fucking clear, and they said I still had a chance. Rymar said she thought I was handsome!
A little smile touched my lips as I threw a stick across our yard and into the lot beside us. "Fetch!" I ordered.
Holly was off like a streak of lightning. Yeah, that dog was fast, but it sounded like she was also vicious when needed. Zasen said she'd launched at a Mole, nearly pulling him off his feet, and after training her to disarm, I could believe it.
But I liked this. I liked the new camaraderie in the house. I was enjoying the way Zasen and I were working through our jealousy by trying to help the other get some of her attention. I liked that Rymar had finally let her in. I just had one single problem with all ofthis.
We were lying to her.
How many times had I told that woman we were just friends? That was bullshit. Fuck, I'd spent a few nights lying in bed thinking about her. Sure, some with my hand around my dick, but most weren't. Most of those had been me remembering something sweet she'd done. Something amazing. Something that made me unable to think of her as just a very pretty friend.
I'd just thrown the stick again when the back door opened. I turned to see who'd joined me, and my eyes landed on Ayla. She was wearing her dark brown set of leathers. It turned her hair even more gold, but it didn't fit like it used to.
Now, the laces at her chest gaped a bit at the top, revealing a hint of cleavage. The bottom of her vest revealed more skin, and her body-hugging pants showed off the curve of her hips. When we'd found her, this woman had been little more than pale skin and bones. Now, she was becoming something heart-stoppingly beautiful.
"You okay?" she asked, making her way over. "Zasen said the kids were probably acting up."
I shook my head, struggling not to let my eyes drop. "No, they were just excited about a few days off. School's cancelled when the Moles come, and for the grade I teach, they think it's a holiday."
"I hate holidays," she said.
Which made me chuckle. "Ours are a little different. More cookouts and less praying."
"I like cookouts," she said, bending to get the stick from Holly before I could. Then she threw it hard. "Fetch!" she ordered.
I watched as her lips curled into the most honest smile I'd ever seen. This woman loved her dog. She allowed herself to actually enjoy the simple things - because they weren't so simple to her. I couldn't get enough of that part. Rymar was right when he said she was pure. I would've used the word honest, but neither was quite right.
She was just Ayla, this enigma of brutal and sweet, driven and unobtrusive, and sometimes a mix of worldly and naive. But that one glance made guilt slam into me. She'd come out to check on me - she took care of all of us - and here I was lying to her.
I had to tell her.
So I took a deep breath and turned to her. "Ayla, can I tell you something without scaring you?"
She bent as Holly ran back, getting the stick again. "I don't like being scared," she said before throwing it.
"Hopefully it's not that bad," I admitted.
"Holly, down!" she commanded, making the dog lay in place. "Good girl. Just relax and catch your breath." Then she turned to me expectantly.
"You know how I said we were friends?" I asked.
She nodded. "Good friends."
"Yeah." Okay, I was probably about to make a mess of this. "Well, I know you kissed Rymar."
Her eyes dropped to the grass. "Yeah. You were on the stairs."
"And he told us about it afterwards," I explained. "Well, to make sure you were okay with it."
That made her gaze jump back up. "Really?"