Page 249 of Phoenix's Fire

Then she did the last thing I ever would've expected. Ayla reached out to hook her fingers against mine. "I like when you hold my hand," she said softly. Her eyes jumped up again, then back down, and her cheeks were now scarlet. "And when you read beside me. Playing with Holly, too!"

"Yeah?" I asked.

She nodded. "But I don't know how to kiss. I mean, I tried to practice, but the memory is all blurry."

"It's okay," I assured her. "You don't have to kiss men, Ayla. And if you want to, I promise you don't need to know how. You just have towantto do it." I ran my thumb over the backs of her knuckles. "Because if anyone kisses you when you don't want them to? I will make sure they never do it again."

She was still staring at the ground, but I could see a little smile taking over. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I promised. "But maybe you can try not to laugh at me when I stare at you? Or if I do stupid things?"

"Only if you won't laugh at me," she said.

"Promise."

And finally, she lifted her eyes, looking through those golden lashes of hers. "How do I know if I like someone?"

"Being around them makes your heart race," I said, aware of how mine was pounding. "Touching them makes you want to smile." And I could see her lips curl upwards. "You long to talk to them, even if you've just been doing that, and you never really want to spend time away from them. Their company is something you need, and all of their opinions feel very important. That's how you know."

"What if I like more than one person?" she asked meekly.

I gripped her hand a little more. "Maybe Zasen and Rymar?"

"Rymar's just a friend," she insisted.

But I noticed she hadn't refused the part about Zasen, so I nodded slowly. "Well, what if Rymar could be a friend and a guy you like?"

She glanced away. "But we're supposed to decide," she told me.

"Mhm," I agreed, "but no one said you had to decide to like only one. Ayla, that's what a family is. It's you and a guy you like, and maybe another."

"Or three?" she whispered.

"Or three," I agreed. "As many as you want, just as long as you don't lie about liking others, because some people don't want to be in a family. They want to be a couple."

Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip and I watched her head bob a few times as she thought about that. Finally, she pulled in a breath, stood a little straighter, and finally faced me with her head up.

"I like being able to think about it, and ask about it, and decide. I like the way it feels to be kissed by a Dragon, because Dragons don't hurt me. I like feeling pretty, because I was never allowed to do that before." Then she paused, her eyes jumping between mine. "And I like talking to you. I like being your friend, and putting my legs over you when we both read on the couch. I like it when you do the thing with my waist in the kitchen too."

She meant when I touched her waist as I moved around her, making sure we didn't collide. "Yeah?"

"And I really like holding your hand, but it makes my heart beat faster when you hold mine."

"So I should do that more, or not?"

"More," she decided. "But Kanik? What if I'm wrong? What if I act like Qavan because I'm just trying to figure it out?"

"No, Ayla," I assured her. "You wouldn't do that. Qavan treated Rymar the way Mole men treated you: as if he was a thing to be used. Not like a person. As long as you remember men have feelings too, I think experimenting is a good thing. I just wanted to let you know I'd be okay with you kissing me too. I mean, if you want to."

And she smiled. "Okay."

That did not look like a brush-off. The way she said that made me feel like I hadn't completely screwed things up between us, so I let go of her hand, taking it for the win it was.

"Holly, come!" I called. "We need to wear you out before the meeting so you aren't bouncing in place."

"Drop!" Ayla commanded.

The dog hurried back to drop her stick at our feet. Ayla immediately bent, and when she stood, she offered me the stick.

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