Page 278 of Phoenix's Fire

I shrugged. "So we make it work, because I don't want to live the rest of my life down there. I'dratherdie. That's why I'm doing this. Unlike you or Callah, I have nothing left to lose, and everything to gain."

Eighty-Seven

Ayla

Jeera and Drozel teased Zasen the rest of the way back. He took it easily, laughing along with them, and gave a little back. Xav and I discussed our dogs and the differences in their training. Night fell, the creatures of the darkness began moving around, but five of us were enough to keep them at a distance.

When we returned, the glow of lanterns on the gate assured us we were expected. It was the only sign of activity I could see at first. The street in front of our house was quiet. The stage had no one around it, but the plan was to meet at City Hall when we returned.

Yet the stillness made all of us remember that some wouldn't be coming home. We were a block away before we could hear the sound of civilization. It wasn't a celebration, but neither was there loud mourning. Instead, the doors to the building were thrown wide open, warm lantern light spilled out, and groups of people stood around in clusters, both inside and out.

"They're back!" someone yelled, spotting us.

That was when I saw Rymar, standing on the steps. He leaned as if looking around us, then his head whipped over. Something was wrong. I could tell by the way he was searching - but we were right here!

Then Omden rushed in, slamming his body into Drozel's. A moment later, a tailed woman ran at Xav, who met her with an embrace. Jeera grinned at their greetings, then slapped Zasen's shoulder.

"And we don't get those because..." Her words trailed off as Rymar stormed toward us.

His face made it clear something was wrong. Even in the darkness, his turquoise eyes were visible because they were so wide. There was no smile on his lips, onlya look of fear.

"Kanik?" he asked, looking between me, Jeera, and Zasen.

"What?" Zasen asked.

"No..." Jeera breathed, realizing what was wrong.

"Whereishe?" Rymar demanded, grabbing Zasen by the arms. "They said he must be with you!"

"He's not," I breathed, feeling my heart hang in my chest. Now he'd say it was okay, right? There was an explanation?

But Zasen began shaking his head, denying Rymar's implications. "No, no, no," he mumbled.

"We're missing fourteen," Rymar said. "But they said Ayla took a group back out there." He looked at me. "He was supposed to be withyou!"

My throat clamped hard, knowing what this meant. Slowly, I shook my head, a wave of guilt hitting me hard. I should've had him. I should've made sure he was there. I should've taken him with us, but had he even been there at the pond? If he had, wouldn't Drozel have used him instead of Xav?

"But Kanik!" Rymar begged. "He can't be gone!"

Jeera choked back a sob, turning away. Zasen just shook his head, over and over, like he couldn't believe it, but no words came from his mouth. Then his legs gave way.

He didn't sit. Zasen fell, all of his mass collapsing to the ground with a cry that no voice should ever make. Pain. Anguish. Torment. It was all spilled with the wail. I tried to catch him, but I had no chance of ever holding him up.

"Not Kanik," Zasen roared.

Rymar simply stood there, his entire body still. Even his tail had relaxed to the ground. Slowly, he lifted a hand and pressed it over his mouth. "He's not back." Rymar's voice cracked. "He'ssupposedto be back!"

Zasen struggled, like he was about to get up, but his body refused to cooperate. "He's in the forest still. He didn't hear the call. Maybe he's injured!"

I was trying to comfort him, but also reach out to clasp Rymar's hand. I wanted to make the pain stop. To ease them somehow, but what they were saying refused to sink in. This couldn't be real. Kanik? That wasn't possible. He was at home, or in the hospital. He was just out of sight. I'd talked with him as we walked out. It had been so normal, so he couldn't be gone.

He couldn't be dead.

Jeera wrapped her arms around her brother, gripping him hard. "They don't leave wounded," she said gently. "Zasen, you know that. The Moles don't leave our wounded. They take them. He's already gone."

"No!"

Which was when Rymar dropped to his knees to hug Zasen hard. Tears were shining on his face, but where Zasen wailed, Rymar was silent. One of his hands found mine, clenching it too hard. Zasen hugged my side, pressing his face into my hip, and Jeera had her arms around all of us.

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