Surging out of the water, I yanked at the plug and hurried to grab a towel. Wrapping one around my body, I quickly rubbed the water from my hair, then put it back into a braid. I didn't bother with the clothes I'd left on the floor. Instead, I raced up the stairs and into my room.
Kanik hadn't been in the cart. They didn't have him, and we'd hidden the blue man. Maybe Kanik's body was still out there, covered with leaves? If it was, I had to get him.Theycouldn't have him. I wouldn't let them!
So I pulled on clean underthings, my darker set of leathers, and fresh socks. With those, I hurried back downstairs, doing my best not to make too much noise. I found my boots. Those and my belt went on. So did my krael, because it would be stupid to go out there without a weapon.
And I was going back.
They could not have him! Not alive, not dead, and certainly not as a meal. If I had to, I would follow them all the way back to the compound and get thefuckingcode myself. I would do this. I could...
I paused as I realized this was actually possible. But first, I needed a few things. Heading into the living room, I wrenched open the weapons closet. Our thingshadn't been put away yet, but that didn't matter. There, at the back, was a cloth bag meant to be worn across the chest. It was Zasen's.
Pulling it out, I rummaged through the contents, finding all the necessary medical supplies, and some I didn't even know how to use. That made sense, though. He'd been trained in medicine. I hadn't, but while the bag would work so I could move easily, most of this wouldn't help me.
I was going to bring Kanik back, so I needed a way to do that. I'd pulled a bear through the forest, so I could do this. On the shelf were coils of rope. I grabbed two, then made my way to the linen closet. There, I pulled out a sheet. It was thicker, which meant it should hold up to being dragged across the ground.
All of that went into the bag. I almost removed the medical supplies, but the Moles were still out there. And if I had to follow them into the compound, I'd need these things. Besides, it wasn't that heavy to carry - and I wasgoingto do this.
Kanik had been my friend, so I would not leave him for the Moles to eat. I may not have been able to mourn my mother, but Iwouldget to do that with my friend. I would make sure his family had the chance to say their goodbyes, and maybe even something to help make this ache in my chest stop hurting so badly.
Once I finally had everything I thought I'd need, I peeked my head back into Zasen's room. Rymar had rolled onto his side. His arms were curled against his chest. Zasen was sprawled on his back, snoring softly, but Holly's head jumped up, her eyes right on me.
"Come," I whispered.
She hopped off the bed, barely moving it. Reaching down to pet her, I ran through my idea again, then turned for the door. That I opened as softly as I could, not wanting to disturb the men. My idea was stupid. I knew that, but I couldn't sleep, so I might as well do something to make this better.
Outside, the moon was high above, making everything brighter than I'd expected. Patting my hip, I called Holly to my side, and then turned my feet toward the forest. I had three hours to walk. Three very long hours, but even longer until dawn.
My dog trotted beside me, keeping pace obediently. I tried to remember which way we'd gone, but everything looked different at night. Not foreign, but changed enough by the darkness that I wasn't sure I could trust myself. But I knew someone I could.
"Holly," I said, "find Kanik. Show!"
She looked up at me, then back to the ground. For a moment, she wandered ahead, weaving from side to side while she sniffed at the ground. Just when I was sure this wouldn't work, her head snapped up and she started trotting.
She had his scent. It had only been a day since we'd been through here, and Lansin had said dogs could find people by the scent we left in our wake. Since my dog looked like she knew where she was going, I broke into a jog, wanting to get this over with.
She moved faster, leading me onward. Trees passed. The moon shifted across the sky. My eyes could pick out all the details I knew most Dragons couldn't see.My vision was no longer as sharp at night as it had once been, but I could still read in this. I could still find him!
"Find Kanik!" I ordered again, needing to say something.
Because we were supposed to be defeating the Moles. Tobias hadn't gotten me the code. Callah didn't want to leave yet. She thought she could destroy them from the inside. While I agreed, none of those things were what I wanted to hear. To lose Kanik on top of that?
The tears came again, blurring my vision as I chased after my dog, but moving helped. It made this anxiety feel like it was being used. Howdarethey take someone I cared about? IlikedKanik. I'd thought we would have more time!
I owed him for all the things he'd done for me. He'd been the one to try English. He'd said it wrong, but he'd been smart enough to realize I was looking at a book in that language. He was so kind, and gentle, and beautiful, and amazing. He couldn't be gone!
I cried myself out once, then caught my breath. Always, Holly continued leading me onward. A second time, the tears came, and I didn't try to stop them. They streamed down my face, staining my leathers. I was sure dirt was clinging to them, but I didn't care. Maybe the Moles would think I was a monster.
If they had him, I would destroy them all! Somehow. I didn't know how and couldn't think about that right now. I just knew I could move faster than them. Zasen made me jog through the woods when we hunted. I'd gotten so much stronger in the time I'd been here. I was no longer a weak and useless thing.
I was the Phoenix. I was the thing that rose from my own ashes. I would not let things continue on the way they'd been. No, I woulddosomething about this. I was not the gentler sex. I was definitely not silent, submissive, or subservient. I was a monster from myths.
And I wouldburnit all down to get him back.
I knew he was gone. If he was alive, he'd have made it back, but that didn't matter. They might be able to kill him, but I refused to allow them to consume him. Kanik was a man. A person! If I had to go in there and drag his body before the entire compound, I would! I would show them all just how "righteous" they were!
"Find Kanik," I ordered Holly yet again. "Find him, girl, and if we can't..."
I did not want to think about this. I was supposed to help. I'd dreamed of fixing all of this, but going into the woods to meet them head-on had been my idea. That made all of this my fault. Kanik was a teacher! He helped children. He was supposed to worry about his lesson plans and grading - and I'd never even had the chance to truly understand what those were.