Page 286 of Phoenix's Fire

"Hurt badly, but yes," I promised, waiting until they passed me and then closing the door to the house.

But Rymar ran, not stopping until he reached Kanik. "You're alive!" he whimpered, bending to scoop Kanik into his arms. "I'm carrying him!"

"Holly, stay!" I ordered, knowing I needed to get her out of that harness.

Zasen ran to the road, pausing to look between Holly, me, and where Rymar was marching quickly away. "What do you need, Ayla?"

"Help him!" I said, pointing after Rymar. "We'll catch up."

That was all Zasen needed. He ran. I grabbed one of my krael, not wanting to wait either. Cutting two of the ropes got Holly out of the contraption I'd made, and then we took off after them. The sled could stay there. I didn't care if it was in anyone's way. I may have stabilized Kanik, but that wasn't going to be enough. He was hurting, and I didn't like that.

But he was alive. Kanik was actually alive, and that mattered more than I realized. Right now, he was alive, and more than anything else, I really wanted to keep it that way.

Because there were things I still wanted in life, and he was a part of them.

Ninety

Meri

The night was getting late. My feet were killing me and my back ached from all the standing, walking, and bending. Naomi had been right when she said this would be hard. Even being "behind a desk" as they'd said, I'd still done a lot more than I'd expected.

Around midnight, the wounded had begun to arrive. Maybe a little before? I'd been able to help, though. Carts pulled by horses had carried so many people. Others had hauled them from outside into the main room here. They called it the emergency room, and now I understood what that meant.

Dozens of doctors treated these people. Men, women, tailed and not. They all did different things, but when I called out a problem, someone was always able to handle it. Internal bleeding, punctures, broken bones, missing limbs, and more.

Over the hours, I'd learned who did what. Naomi was here and helping, but she was only handling the cuts and broken bones. She'd smiled at me a few times, making me think I was doing this right, and then had come over to confirm it.

But what had felt the best was holding the hands of men and women in pain. While the doctors were busy, others had to wait. If they weren't critical, they suffered until it was finally their turn. I'd sat with many of them, doing my best to offer comfort.

A few, I'd bandaged. Superficial things were easy to treat, and the nurses assured me it was fine - once Brielle confirmed I knew how. After that, I'd been shown the medicine room, taught how to use the numbing agent, and told to bandage anyone who had to wait. They'd cut it off later when it was their turn.

But finally, the emergency room was empty. Those who were well enough to leave had gone. I dropped down in the chair I was supposed to be using and leaned back. Everything ached. This hadn't been like healing in the compound. Then again, I hadn't been carrying a baby in front of me back then.

And unlike the Moles - I was starting to prefer that term for them - Dragons didn't give up. When someone died, a nurse or doctor pounded on their chest. They breathed into the mouth. I didn't know how to do that, but I wanted to learn, because Ayla had been right. I was good at this.

She was cruel. I'd never realized it back then, but Ayla had always been a killer. When Gideon had been shot, she'd intended to make sure he'd died, but I'd said no. I'd been too weak to use what little freedom we had to give the men what they deserved.

Instead, I'd learned to care. She could hurt people, but I could soothe. I could fix them. I knew how to do this, and Ilikedit. When the patients relaxed because of my help, it felt good. For my entire life, I'd been made to feel useless, but here I was doing something!

Once, I'd been asked to sew a minor cut. One of the doctors, a large black, tailed man, had complimented my stitches! So leaning my head back, I let my eyes close and tried to ease the tension in my body that simply would not stop.

"Meri?" The sound of Brielle's voice made me jerk up.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"Like I'm useful," I said, letting my happiness show. "Lessa said I should figure out which things make me happy and when I'm doing something because the praise makes me happy, and that's not easy. But this? I like this, Brielle. I feel like I'm..."

"Capable," she finished for me, nodding to show she understood. "Well, just to keep you informed, it sounds like the battle didn't go as well as they hoped. We took more losses than last time, and they're still trying to figure out who's unaccounted for."

"Ayla?" I asked.

"She's okay," Brielle assured me. "Jeera said she's taking care of Zasen and Rymar."

But there was something serious in her eyes. "What happened?" I asked.

"Not everyone made it back," she said again. "Meri, I knew many of them. A lot of us did. It seems the Moles had new weapons."

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