Page 51 of Phoenix's Fire

"I'm not in love with him," I promised. "I do love him, though - the same way I love you. He's family, Zasen. You're family. We're..."

"Perfectly happy like this?" Zasen asked.

I sighed, knowing he was right. "Yeah. But you realize if she picks him, they'll get a nice little house somewhere, have an official church wedding, and then make a couple of beautiful little brown and blonde babies, right?"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Zasen said.

My eyes narrowed. "Okay? Why?"

Tilting slightly, Zasen leaned to rest his weight on the arm of the chair closest to me. "Because some beautifully brilliant man has been spoiling him. Because Kanik hears what you aren't saying, Ry, and so do I."

"And what's that?" I asked.

He lifted one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "That he's your partner. I'm your partner. Now, Ayla's becoming our partner too, and I don't know how the fuck that's going to work out, but even if she's like a sister to me, that woman is someone I want to keep around. I don't care if she's pissed off at me. What I care about, Ry, is that the little jar over there with a wad of your cash in it? This lecture? Those things say a hell of a lot more than your words."

I glanced away, aware I was losing this argument - if it was even one. "Kanik needs the extra. So does Ayla."

"Mhm," he agreed, those damned orange eyes of his so hard to miss when he stared at me like this.

"What the fuck do you want me to say?" I demanded.

"That you wouldn't mind a little of her attention," Zasen told me. "That she's 'just' your friend because you're a damned good man. That maybe, just maybe, you've stepped back for the exact same reason I'm trying to."

"Kanik," I realized.

Zasen tipped his head as if that was close, but not quite right. "And you. Admit it, you like her - and don't you fucking dare try to make this a friend thing."

"She's cute," I admitted, "but so are a lot of people. She's nice, but the same is true for that."

"Without the political rhetoric," he added.

I grunted in annoyance. "Fine. I'm impressed with the woman she's becoming, but I'm not ruled by my dick, Zasen."

"No, you never were," he agreed. "It's why I give you shit about it. You, my friend, are ruled by something that will fuck you up even more." He patted his chest, right over his heart, to make the point.

"And right now, my heart says that woman isn't ready for anything more than a friend."

"And I think you're wrong," he told me. "I also think I'm okay with being theasshole. Yes, I may have crossed a line, but you know what? She followed me across it. She learned one of the most important things ever, and theonething I've been trying to teach her since she got here."

"What's that?"

He leaned back and let a little smile touch his lips. "That she really is our equal, Ry. That she can take a risk and survive it. That the one thing that scares her the most? Well, she's safe withus. All three of us. Think of this as my true revenge against the Moles."

"Kissing Ayla?" I asked, pretty sure I wasn't quite keeping up.

"No, showing Ayla the biggest lie they told her. Love isn't pain, and whether she ever does more than kiss someone? That's not nearly as important as her learning it's okay to embrace those feelings. That she's a Dragon, and she's strong enough to take it. Take, Rymar, not have it taken from her."

Slowly, I began to nod, realizing he might just have a point. "You're still a dick for kissing her."

"Yep," he agreed.

"But you're right."

"Mhm."

"And you willnotdo it again."

He began to chuckle. "Not without asking. Promise."

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