Page 52 of Phoenix's Fire

"Then we're good," I decided.

Sixteen

Meri

The next morning, Jeera left early, saying she was going to get Ayla for our exams. After that, Brielle helped me find something appropriate to wear, but all of my dresses were so short. The one she picked for me was simple, but she said I'd have to take it off, so this time, simple was going to be better.

Then we left. Outside, the sunlight was so bright, I could barely force my eyes all the way open. When I tried, they watered, making the world a blur. Thankfully, Brielle kept a hand on my shoulder, guiding me the proper way to what she called "the market."

That, I noticed. Even through my squinted lids and blurry vision, the cacophony of colors stood out. Dozens of bright cloth squares had been set up on poles. Below them, people meandered, pausing to look at things. Naturally, that was where Brielle led me, yet my feet slowed.

Wiping at my eyes, I could make out the strange Dragon-people. They came in all colors. Some were green, or tan, or even red. Few came close to the colors of Ayla's friend, but many were like Jeera or Brielle. Not exactly like them, and it seemed no two Dragons had the same skin colors, but the vibrancy of them was more intimidating than anything I could imagine.

"Are you sure I should be here?" I asked, looking over at Brielle for some reassurance.

"You're fine," she promised. "We made sure the people of Lorsa know you're allowed, so you can go anywhere you want. With one of us, but only so you don't get lost, okay?"

I hurried to nod, because it seemed like that was what she wanted, but I kept looking at the people we passed. Men. So many of these Dragons were men - and then there were humans among them as well. The problem was how most of them turned to stare at me as we passed.

"Where's Ayla?" I asked, my voice coming out like a whimper.

"We're meeting her here," Brielle promised. "Jeera has a stall, and the clinic is on the other side of the market."

"But they'relookingat me," I whispered.

Which made Brielle chuckle, yet it sounded reassuring. "Because you've got one hand pressed against your back and the other wiping your eyes. Never mind that your hair is whiter than an old lady's.

"It's blonde," I corrected.

"It's platinum," she said. "Meri, that means you stand out, and with people as bright as we are? That says a lot."

"But I'm not a Dragon," I breathed.

"It's okay," she promised. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I just need you to tell me if you need to sit and rest, okay?"

"I'm fine," I said a little too quickly.

Mostly because resting sounded good, but not here. Not where the strange people would keep staring, or where a man might get the wrong impression. Certainly not in the godforsaken heat of the sunlight slamming into me.

Jeera had told me the days would get cooler as the seasons changed, but they weren't. Every morning, the sun - which was nothing like the lights in the compound - woke up and glared down on us. Every evening, it dimmed to what I'd grown used to as a normal "day" in the compound. The darkness of our nights? They simply didn't exist up here.

There was always light. Even when the sun was gone, there was a moon that shined like a lamp. Curtains helped, but with so much light, I couldn't quite relax the way I had back home. Well, in the compound. Mostly, when I thought of true relaxation, my mind went to when I'd lived with Ayla and Callah, back before I'd been married.

No, I didn't want to think about that. I preferred to remember Gideon as the boy he'd been when we'd first met. Back then, he'd been so charming and handsome. I'd liked the way he'd smiled at me and how he'd gone out of his way to make it clear it was my attention he wanted. Not Ayla's. Not Callah's.

Mine.

Those two had been my closest friends, but also so hard to live with. Ayla was brazen and bold. Callah was so very smart. Me? I had nothing. Compared to them, there was nothing special about me at all, except that I was the oldest. No matter how hard I'd tried to find something I was good at, it never worked.

I didn't sew as well as Ayla. I didn't remember the verses as well as Callah. Instead, I learned how to lift them up, cover for their mistakes, and behave so well that the wives had no reason to notice any of us. Gideon said my obedience had been what made him consider me.

Now, I didn't know how to be anything else.

All I'd wanted was to have someone notice me for me. I'd thought I'd found that in Gideon, but the day he'd caught me telling the girls what really happened after marriage? He'd never looked at me the same. Over and over, he'd remindedme that I was supposed to obey, that he'd picked me because I knew how to listen, and that I'd disappointed him.

I hoped he wasverydisappointed now!

Since that day, I'd tried so hard to make it up to him. I'd made one little mistake, and he'd lorded it over me for months, but when I'd told him the child wasn't his? He'd completely believed it. After months of seeing me try so hard - of living beside me day in and day out - he still hadn't realized I wasn't brave enough to do such a thing, never mind the idea of havingrelationswith my own brother!

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