Page 90 of Phoenix's Fire

"Which is why I want out," he went on. "Callah, I know you think I don't have as much to lose, but I do. If I mess this up..."

"They'll kill you?" I guessed.

I watched as he swallowed. "I'm just saying I may not come back from this hunt."

"You will," I insisted. "Tobias, you have to."

"You'll be fine," he assured me. "I'll make sure no one ever suspects you."

"I'll be married off, bred to death, and trapped without any hope of escape!" I hissed.

"And you'll get kicked out," he assured me. "You helped Meri and Ayla do the same. So, if nothing else, I'll make sure they know you're coming, okay? I swear it."

I found my head shaking from side to side. I knew he was right. There was no way to be sure he'd survive this trip - not with as many hunters as we'd lost lately. I also refused to think Tobias could be killed.

I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't do this without someone - anyone - to talk to. I just needed someone to understand, and in our few short conversations, he'd made it clear he could.

"Please be careful?" I whispered, reaching over to clasp his hand.

Those large fingers curled around mine. "I'm going to try. I'd like to think that once we're free, we might even stay friends."

I squeezed his hand a little harder. "I promise. Maybe we're even friends now?"

"But men and women don't do that."

"Soweshould," I decided. "It can be our own little rebellion, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "A very quiet one."

Twenty-Eight

Ayla

Islept the entire day after hauling the bear back. That evening, I got up long enough to eat and take more of the pills Kanik had for me, then crawled back in bed. Zasen, it seemed, went hunting.

I woke the next morning to find him carving meat on the kitchen table. Bones had been stacked to the side, and bite-sized chunks were being placed into a rather large bowl. Quietly, I slipped behind him, aiming for the cabinet with the cooled tea, but as I pulled down a glass, Zasen glanced back.

"The cookout is today. Did you get enough sleep?"

I nodded. "Maybe too much."

"How do you feel?" he asked, setting down the knife so he could turn to face me. Then he picked up a cloth and wiped his hands clean. "I'm sure your muscles hurt, but how's your shoulder?"

"Stiff," I admitted. "And you got all of that without me?"

"Without a bear lurking in the woods, the animals were everywhere," he said, then paused. "I probably would've gotten twice as much with you there."

I sucked my lower lip into my mouth and glanced down to the ground. "So I don't make it harder?"

"Hey..." he breathed, closing the distance between us so he could clasp my shoulders. "No, Ayla. You killed a fucking bear! You saved my life, okay? That's not making it harder, and it certainly isn't your fault there were hardly any animals out that night."

"You're not just trying to be polite?" I asked.

With a little huff, Zasen let go of me and stepped back. "Have you met me?" he teased. "I'm pretty sure polite isnotthe word anyone would use to describe me."

Okay, he had a point. Zasen was many things - a good hunter, brave, and even strong - but he wasn't the sort of man to be gentle with his words. No, he usedthem to cut, to guide, and to push. In truth, it was one of my favorite things about him, because I knew that what he said was exactly what he meant.

But he'd mentioned the cookout, and I felt like I'd lost an entire day to prepare for this. "So what am I supposed to wear to an event like this?" I asked. "A nice dress, or a simple one?"

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