Page 69 of Riot of Autumn

“Why not? Let’s get all the truths out on the table. Let’s have a clean slate, and then we can talk about the bond.”

“Fine, then I want you to tell me about your painting.” I raise an eyebrow and Ruby groans loudly. She glares at me, her mouth pressed into a tight line.

“I don’t even get an out because my house burned down today?”

“At the risk of sounding like a jerk, no.” I shrug. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but Ruby will use whatever shield she can to avoid talking about her art.

“Ugh. You suck.” She pushes a hand into her dark purple hair and shakes out some of the moisture. “Fine. It’s a deal. You go first.”

I lick my lips, hoping this doesn’t end up in a fight. “I saw you flirting with Jeremy Adams, and I was jealous.”

Ruby’s mouth falls open a little. “So, you stole my underwear?”

“I am aware that it doesn’t make any sense. If I had to take a guess, my animalistic side was being a little territorial, and I momentarily lost my mind.”

“You’re saying even then, you were trying to mark your territory?” Ruby snorts.

I’m too relieved she’s not trying to start a fight, that I don’t even flinch at her reference to what I did in the closet at the Smithe’s house. Actually, it was fucking hot, so she can bring it up whenever she wants.

“That’s such a lame reason. I want to take back my agreement to answer your question.”

“Nope. That’s not how this works. It’s your turn.”

Ruby stares at me, her tongue poking into her cheek. Her nostrils flare as she inhales and then she closes her eyes. She swallows before she finally says, “I’m afraid.”

I know how much it costs her to say those words. Ruby never shows fear, never admits that things impact her like a regular person. She’s perfected this image as someone who doesn’t give a shit. Things roll off her back and she doesn’t care enough to take things seriously. But that’s all a facade that hides her vulnerability.

“Okay.”

Ruby’s eyes fly open. “Okay? That’s it. You don’t want some long-winded explanation of how I’m afraid of putting myself out there only to fail? Only for one more person to see what I’ve created, and declare it to be absolutely shit? That, like most of the important people in my life, everyone else will realize I’m not worth sticking around to see what I might do.” Ruby’s chest is heaving with her breaths and her cheeks are flushed.

I cup her cheek, my thumb brushing over her chin as I force her to look at me. “You are supremely talented. Do you think I’d let just anyone permanently put ink on my body?”

Ruby makes a face. “I’ve seen some of the early stuff you put on yourself, so I’m not sure that’s really a compliment.”

I snort, moving my thumb to brush over her cheek. “Listen, I didn’t need a long explanation because I get it. Maybe not exactly how hard it is to show your work and worry that people won’t appreciate it, but I understand. I already know that you’re incredible. Sometimes you just have to say what’s holding you back out loud.”

Ruby groans, but I don’t let her interrupt.

“I won’t ever force you to do something you’re not ready for, but I think you should take the attitude that guides most of your actions and apply that to your art. You know, the one where you say fuck off to anyone who gets in your way. If someone doesn’t like your art, fuck them. They have horrible taste.”

The edges of Ruby’s mouth quirks up. “Probably.”

“Most definitely.”

“Good chance.” Ruby laughs, and the sound fills my chest with a burst of warmth.

“I want the bond.” The words come out in a rush of expelled breath. Nervous energy skitters over my skin and my heartbeat kicks up a few notches. Ruby doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t look away either.

“Why?”

Not exactly a confirmation that she wants it too, but it’s also not an outright no. And the why? Fuck, how do I put that into words?

I lift my hand and graze the back of my fingers down the side of Ruby’s face. No time like the present to lay it all out.

“I’ve been in love with you since the seventh grade, Ruby. Probably before that.”

Her eyes get wide, but she doesn’t speak. I think I’ve stunned her into silence. Which makes me want to smile.

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