Page 72 of Riot of Autumn

“One more thing,” he says over his shoulder as he walks over to his dresser. Something silver glints when he picks it up. The object is clutched in his fist as he walks back over to me.

“I know this isn’t spelled for protection or anything. But I really feel like you should be wearing this.” He opens his hand, and the other half of the best friend necklace is laying in his palm.

I bark out a laugh, and Ezra grins back at me. He doesn’t wait for me to agree before he’s looping the chain around my neck and settling the charm on my chest.

“BFFs forever, huh?” I reach out and touch the other half of the necklace around his neck.

Ezra sweeps me into a fierce hug, surprising a squeak out of me. He nuzzles his nose into my neck and whispers against my skin. “Damn straight.”

Breakfast turns out to be lunch since we slept so late. Still, Ezra makes me pancakes, and I sit at his kitchen island in a pair of his gym shorts that fall past my knees and a Reading Rainbow t-shirt. Ezra threw on a pair of sweats, but he hasn’t put on a shirt which I know is on purpose. He keeps catching me drooling over him and then laughs like a hyena. It’s annoying, but also stupidly cute.

I eat too much and make uncomfortable noises as I shift around in my chair. I want to go lay down and take another nap, but Axil’s sitting at my feet staring up at me with his sweet eyes pleading to go outside. Hopefully Ezra doesn’t mind sand in his house, because there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep Axil from the water.

“If I’m not back in ten minutes, come find us with dog treats,” I groan as I slide off my chair. These last few days have done me in.

“Are they for Axil or you?” Ezra smirks at me.

“I’m pretty full at the moment, but save a few for me for later.”

Ezra’s laughter follows me out of the house. Axil trots off toward the water, peeing on a tree before he hits the sand, chasing birds. The wind is stronger and sharper than I expected. My hair blows across my face, and I wrap my arms around myself, wishing I would have brought a sweatshirt out with me.

The stretch of beach where Ezra’s house sits is pretty far from the main beaches that tourists frequent, plus it’s late in the year for out of towners to be taking romantic walks along the water, so it’s just me and Axil on the beach.

I keep walking until I hit Ezra’s dock. Even though he never uses it, he keeps it maintained. There’s no railing, but it’s wide and solid. I don’t have any fear of falling over the edge. Granted, it wouldn’t be pleasant falling in the cold water, but I can swim. It would suck because the water is freezing, but that would be the worst of it.

For Ezra, it would be a different story. My thoughts roll back to what happened with Zara last night. I’m pretty sure she had a premonition. I can’t help but think about our weaknesses and wonder what mine might be. Insecurity, fear of failure. Ezra’s fear is spread out in front of me, in the vast ocean. Seraphina’s already used his fear against him.

The water slaps against the side of the dock. There’s a noisy splash as Axil frolics through the water where it meets the shore. It hasn’t been ten minutes, but I spin toward the house when I hear Ezra calling my name. He’s at the edge of the dock holding out a red and black plaid coat with a fuzzy wool collar.

He hesitates, but then steps out on the dock, walking slowly until he stops in front of me. He helps me into the jacket like I’m a little kid. It’s sweet. I still can’t help but think that Ezra is going to do something dickish to balance the scales every time he does something mushy. Like push me into the water. I know he won’t, but years of a relationship built on longing for each other, wanting attention from each other in whatever way we could have it, are hard to overcome.

“I would have come to the beach.” Ezra buttons the coat all the way up to my chin and then pops the collar. It’s a little silly since I’m barefoot and wearing shorts, but I’m also much warmer. There’s a good chance it’s due to his closeness.

Ezra sighs and looks out at the water. “I was thinking about Madame Zara’s fortune telling last night.”

I snort at his description, and he grins down at me, still holding on to the collar of the jacket I’m wearing. The smile slides off his face as his gaze goes back to the water. “The water is my weakness.”

“Her little riddle didn’t really mean anything.” I don’t want him to feel bad about his dislike of the water. I don’t know the details of the day his parents died, but I know it wasn’t good.

“I never told you what happened that day, did I?”

“You don’t have to. If you don’t want to.” It’s not that I don’t want to know, but I don’t want to force Ezra to dredge up painful memories. All because Zara blurted out some vague nonsense that could mean anything.

“I want to, Cube.” Ezra brushes the tips of his fingers over my cheek before he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in close to his body. My head is pressed to his chest. I can’t see him, but his voice rumbles against my cheek so that I both hear and feel his words.

“You know my dad was never really well. We’ve all asked questions about whether the Axis made our parents lose their minds or made them into terrible people. Maybe it didn’t mess them all up, but I think it really did break my dad. He was never right. He was paranoid and would have these extreme bouts of anger. One time, he said all our furniture was tainted. We had to haul it all outside and then he lit it on fire.” Ezra pauses, swallowing thickly as the memories take him.

“Knowing what I do now about my magic, maybe he had an animal trapped inside him. He never shifted as far as I know, and maybe the Axis brought out enough of the beast that it took over his body and mind, and slowly drove him crazy. Or maybe he couldn’t shift, and his animal tore him up inside, wanting to get out.” Ezra shrugs like he’s not trying to make excuses but would like there to be some truth to his theory.

“When I was twelve, my dad insisted we needed to go out on the boat for an afternoon ride. I knew before I stepped foot on the boat that he was in one of his moods. They were dark and scary. There was no reasoning with him when he got that way. My mother always told me that we just had to go along with him and wait him out. We were far enough from the island that I could barely see it when he stopped the boat. Then he started screaming. He said we were all corrupted by magic, and he wouldn’t let it get me, too. He threw me in the water, and it was so fucking cold, my lungs seized up immediately. I couldn’t breathe, my arms and legs wouldn’t obey my commands to move. The only reason I didn’t sink to the bottom of the ocean was because of my life jacket.”

Ezra’s arms are squeezing me tight, like he’s afraid the water might sweep me away from him. I hold him just as close, hoping he knows I’m not going anywhere.

“We were miles from the shore. My mother tried to jump in after me, but my father grabbed her. Wrapping her in his arms, he launched them both off the side of the boat. I would have screamed if I could have caught my breath, but my lungs had seized up.

“The water was so choppy that day. My parents went over and then they were gone.”

Fuck, I knew it was bad. I knew how traumatized he’d been, and I’ve seen how he still suffers setbacks and is cautious of the water. Now I understand why.