Page 64 of Hot Irish Halloween

“You wanted to hear this, so let me finish,” she said harshly. Her chest rising and falling, she continued. “Brendan tried to fight them when one of them grabbed me. He got punched, and he fell and hit his head. It cracked right open on the concrete step. The guy didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did. He ended up going to jail for manslaughter.”

Stunned at this revelation, Jack couldn’t speak. He only listened as raw hurt poured out of her.

“Brendan held on for three days in the hospital. The doctors said it was hopeless and he’d never wake up. He was brain-dead. Now Brendan…” Penny wiped her face. “He was such an old man, even when we were little. He had a will drawn up when we got married to leave me everything he had. And there was a living will, too. It said if anything happened where his chances of living an active life and playing music were off the table, they shouldn’t keep him alive. He didn’t want to be a burden on me, with no hope of getting better. His mother said I was lying, and we should keep him on the machines, but…” She gulped a breath. Jack could see her trembling. “I did what he wanted. I told them to turn off the machines. He got hurt because of me. He died because I gave the order to take him off life support. Henever experienced true love or had the children he wanted, and then he was gone. Because of me.” Stabbing herself in the chest with her finger, she said in a voice so jagged it cut him, “Because I wanted to dance and have fun.”

Jack’s entire soul ached for her. Her eyes were full of those frozen tears she wasn’t allowing to fall.

“At the funeral, his mom told me to get out. She said she knew it all along. Somehow, I’d be the end of her son in some way. The way she screamed when they lowered his casket into the ground. I just…” Penny closed her eyes, swaying on her feet. When she opened them and looked at him, all he saw was defeat. “I can’t do that again, Jack. I can’t be the reason you get yourself killed.”

She gazed at him with such broken devotion on her face it was hard for him to breathe.

“I’m sorry that happened to him. I am so sorry. But you did love him. Maybe not like that, but you made him happy. You don’t see that?”

Penny shrugged with a short, sharp laugh. “I did love him. He was my best friend. But with you…the way I feel about you…You really expect me to be there and watch you get hurt like that? Why would you put me through that on purpose?”

“Brendan did what he was supposed to do as your husband. He stepped up to protect you, which actually makes me respect the hell out of him now that I know. That’s what I’m doing because that’s my job now. This isn’t something I want to do for the hell of it. It’s what I have to do. This is who I am. And I’m going to need you on my side. Say you’re with me, Penny.”

Penny turned and went to the office door. She paused to look back at him with those glimmering eyes and that trembling smile that flayed his heart.

“After everything I just told you, you still won’t change your mind.” With a shaky sigh of resignation, she said, “I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t support you. If you cared about me, you wouldn’task me to.” Her face spasmed. She left and quietly closed the door behind her.

Jack was fucked for the rest of the afternoon. Mentally, emotionally, and physically fucked. He couldn’t go out to the floor and pretend he was okay. And maybe they’d heard it when he and Penny’s voices were raised because no one knocked on his door as they usually would.

Wracked with regret and longing, he couldn’t stop thinking of what she’d revealed about Brendan, the lack of passion in their relationship, her survivor’s guilt devotion to him. All of it made sense now. And he couldn’t stop thinking of the horror she’d gone through. Couldn’t see anything but the way her face had looked when she’d left.

Hiding out at the gym was cowardly, and he knew he had some apologizing to do for some of the things he’d said. Maybe even call off the fight. Swallow his ego and his pride, forget about revenge, and cocoon her with his love.

“I’m taking off,” he announced before evening class began. Charlie raised his eyebrows with his mouth shut as he raced out to get back home.

When he got there, the single overhead light in the foyer was on. She left it on for him on nights when she knew he’d be out late. The living room was dark, though, as were the kitchen and the bathrooms. Eager to see her, Jack didn’t stop to eat anything although it had been hours since he’d had a bite. He raced up the stairs two at a time, seeking her down the hallway in the master bedroom to tell her he loved her and he wasn’t going to go through with it. To hell with La Roque, with all of it. He needed her more.

There was one light on in the bedroom. But no Penny.

It was quiet. Jack noticed it suddenly, how quiet it was. Like before Penny had moved in, there was a stillness that felt likeit had had time to grow and form itself into something almost physical.

“Penny?” Jack checked the ensuite master bath with the colorful hand towels she’d bought.

Not there.

His mind raced while his heart slowly skipped and then stopped beating. He was quiet now, like everything around him.

Jack went to her dresser on wooden feet. His eyes swept the top, and then he carefully opened the drawers one by one. Noted that she’d taken her wedding photo with Brendan that he’d known was in there, all the underwear and half the clothes.

“Okay,” he breathed, nodding slowly.

Luggage was gone, and more clothes had disappeared from her half of the walk-in closet.

Wide-tooth comb, paddle brush, products, and scarf gone? Uh-oh. This was serious now.

That was the kind of joke Penny would tell if she were still there.

Was this really happening?

He sat on the edge of the bed and absorbed the deepening silence. Jack didn’t cry. He was too full to cry, too full of rage. Too full of the need to destroy everything, to blow up like a volcano and melt the world in his ashes. If she wanted to leave when he needed her the most, then fine. Fuck the world and everything in it.

Suddenly, the room went from black to gold. Jack blinked. Had he really been sitting in the same spot on the edge of the bed all night? He couldn’t remember sleeping, but he must have. What a mindfuck.

Trixie was barking. Shit. He needed to get her breakfast and then take her out. On their jog, he passed by the pink rowhouse. Jack stared at it briefly. Someone had put a Shamrock Rovers flag in the bedroom window.

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