Page 77 of Hot Irish Halloween

“Like you told me all the important shite? You didn’t. I asked, and you held back. Every time.”

“And when I finally did tell you what really happened with Brendan, you more or less said, ‘Wow, that sucks about your trauma and all, but I’m gonna go put myself in danger anyway.’ Hearing that, I felt like you didn’t care about me. Like you cared more about your pride than about our future.”

Jack laughed. The sound was humorless, strained. “Didn’t care about you? Penny, I’ve been in love with you for overfive years.”

Penny stilled with her eyes widening and lips parting. “I don’t…understand. You said you were a fan of the band, but...”

He couldn’t tell if the nervous tremor in her voice was from fear as if she’d suddenly realized she was in the room with some obsessed stalker. If she only knew…

“After the fight, after I’d had the surgery, I fell into that coma. One day, I was woken up by a voice on TV. It was like an angel was singing to me. Singingforme. I opened my eyes, and it was you in some old video. You were so beautiful.” His voice was roughened. His focus was on her, the way her entire face softened as he spoke, her eyes shining with sudden tears at his words. “You were an angel.Myangel. You pulled me out of that darkness, and I held onto you. In here.” Jack touched his chest. “Built this whole fantasy around you. I would have contacted you when I was strong enough, but I looked you up and found out you were married, so…I didn’t.”

Penny stared at him. “Jack…”

He forged on. The dam was breaking, the one that had held him safe in silence his entire life.

“When you showed up on that app, I thought I was hallucinating. My dream woman, in my city, living right around the corner from me? And you were free? It was everything I’d wanted, being handed to me. And being with you was better than anything I could have ever imagined.”

He knew how it sounded. Like he was definitely obsessed, out of his mind. Well, check and check. She would be justified if she excused herself, went into a room, and locked the door until her parents came to rescue her. But Penny stayed, still looking stupefied by this admission. But she stayed. And listened.

“Things were going so good. And then I failed.” He couldn’t help the fracturing of his voice or the stranglehold on his chest. “I failed to protect my woman and my baby, in my gym. Myhouse. I felt helpless. I stood there and watched someone who meant everything to me get hurt. You know what that feels like.”

“Yes, I know. You didn’t fail me, Jack,” she whispered.

“I did.” Jack’s vision blurred, and he wiped his leaking nose quickly. Nodding, he said, “I did. After that, hurting La Roque was all I could think about. All I felt was anger. At him, at meself. The last girlfriend I had disappeared on me when I was in that coma. I wasn’t in love with her, but it made me doubt I’d ever find someone that I could count on. And after I finally had everything I’d thought I’d never have with you, for you to walk out and not even say goodbye...” His voice broke, and he had to stop speaking.

“It was wrong,” Penny confessed softly. “I shouldn’t have left like that. But I was pissed off and so scared for you and so fucking guilty. You were right, after all.”

It was his turn to be shocked. “Really? About what?”

She laughed, rubbing her arms. Her eyes were liquid. “About me not being able to let go of my guilt over Brendan. I didn’t think I deserved a new life. Being happy with you. Even this.” Penny touched her belly again. The tear that dropped onto hercheek tore his heart in two. “And that’s why the thought of losing you was too much for me to handle. So I did what I do. I ran.” Now tears were in free-fall down her face. “I’m sorry.”

This time, he had to hold her. There was no way he could last another minute without comforting her, feeling her in his arms. With a single step, with one reach of his arms, he pulled her in close. Her body gave off a full quiver and then she melted against him, into him.

How he’d missed this.

“I’m still mad at you for leaving. I’m so mad at you,” he said against her hair, closing his eyes and inhaling her. “But I need you to come home, Penny. Please.” With his ragged plea still on his lips, Jack grasped her to him, kissing her mouth. He pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. “Every day since you’ve been gone has been a fucking nightmare. I need you to wake me up. Wake me up, angel.”

Her arms came around him immediately, and he crushed her to him, kissing her lips again. He felt the wetness of her tears on his own face.

“Okay, Jack. Okay.” Penny touching his face and kissing his cheeks and his jaw, everywhere she could reach, felt so good it made his head spin. But she stopped and gazed into his eyes. “This might sound fucked up, but as hard as it was being apart from you, I think I needed to leave. At first, I didn’t know why I had to come back here of all places in the world I could’ve gone, but now I do. I needed to say goodbye. Not just to him but the guilt I’ve been carrying all this time.”

“Did you?” he asked softly.

“Yes. I finished the book last night.”

“Congratulations, love. That’s grand,” he said with a grin.

“Yup, my masterpiece is done after only ten years.” She grinned too, wiping her face. “I needed to be finished with a few things, so I could be free. Free to love you like you deserve.”

“Thank you for that,” he said. His heart couldn’t have held any more gratitude. He swallowed hard. “I guess it’s my turn to admit you were right, too. The fight isn’t just about you. I denied it when you called me on it but yeah, it’s about me too. Not because I want that life back. I wasn’t ready to quit. I thought I had to because of the risk. And I let people get in me head about my age and if I even belonged there anymore. But I wasn’t ready to go. There’s still something in me that needs one last round. I’m trying to be smarter about it. I went to a new doc for a second opinion. He put me through a battery of tests, and he says it might be okay if I don’t let La Roque hit me too hard.”

With a half sob, half laugh, she repeated, “Mightbe okay?”

Jack chuckled, too, hugging her close. “He says the time I took off to heal did me good. And I wouldn’t get in that cage if I didn’t think I could do some damage meself, despite the odds against me knocking him out. But if you don’t want me to fight, I won’t. I’ll call it off. Anything for you, angel. I’d do anything for you if you just come home. Unless…unless you’re happier here and you want to stay in New York.”

Penny fell into a moment of silence. “It wasn’t until I came back that I realized how much I do miss it here. I miss my family. My parents should get to see their grandbaby grow up, and I want him or her to know them, too. I decided to buy out my great-grandmother’s house from my uncles and my dad.”

Jack didn’t hesitate. “Alright, then. I’ll let Charlie run the gym and move here with you and the baby.”

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