Page 115 of Crown of Ashes and Desire

Hakan turned abruptly and strode from the chamber without another word, his shoulders rigid with barely contained emotion. I stumbled to my feet, light magic flaring instinctively to steady myself, and hurried after him. He moved through the tower's corridors like a man possessed, climbing stone steps two at a time until he burst through the door onto the battlements.

I followed him onto the battlements of the ancient tower, where night wind whipped my hair and tore at my clothing. Above us, clouds had been gathering throughout our confrontation, drawn by the magical energies clashing between us. Now they hung low and dark, pregnant with the promise of a storm.

"Five years," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Five years you kept my own child from me."

Father. The word echoed in my mind, foreign and impossible. I had a daughter—a small, fierce creature with my eyes and her mother's courage. Images flashed through mymemory: Kiraz standing up to the merchant, her magic dancing across her palm, the way she'd looked at me with curiosity rather than fear. My child. How many nights had she fallen asleep wondering about her father? How many times had Ada comforted her with lies about where I was? The weight of missed years pressed against my chest like a physical force.

"You said children repulsed you," I shot back, my own pain finally finding a voice. "You told me a shadow lord with your bloodline had no business bringing children into darkness. What was I supposed to think when I discovered I was pregnant?"

His jaw worked silently. "You could have tried?—"

"I did try!" The words tore from my throat. "I went to the shadow council, begged for an audience. They laughed at me. Called me an ex-lover with complaints too trivial for your attention. Then I stood outside our home for hours in the pouring rain, waiting for you to return. You never came."

Something flickered across his face—memory, perhaps regret. But when he spoke, his voice held steel. "That doesn't change the fact that you stole my right to know my own blood."

"And what would you have done if you'd known?" I demanded, anger flaring hot through my grief. "Would you have embraced her with open arms? The man who told me to my face that children disgusted him? The man who chose power over love, darkness over light?"

His face hardened, but he offered no answer, no defense against my accusations. The silence only fueled my rage.

"We need to find her," Melo said urgently, stepping onto the battlements with Sarp behind her. "Your daughter is still missing. This argument won't bring her back faster."

But Hakan barely seemed to hear her. He turned slowly to face Sarp, his shadows darkening the air around them. "You knew I had a daughter. And you didn't tell me." Hakan's voice was deceptively quiet, but I could see the storm building inhis eyes. The shadows around him writhed with increasing agitation, responding to emotions he could no longer contain. "My closest friend. My brother in all but blood."

Sarp held his ground despite the oppressive cold. "I only discovered it recently. I was going to tell you?—"

"When?" Hakan demanded. "After the wedding? After another year of lies?"

"I made a promise," Sarp said quietly. "To a mother protecting her child. Would you have had me break that oath?"

Something in Hakan's expression shifted, a flash of understanding quickly submerged beneath renewed rage. "And who protected me? Who stood for my rights as her father?"

The attack came with such speed that Sarp barely had time to defend himself. Hakan's shadows struck like vipers, slamming Sarp against the stone wall with bone-jarring force. Before he could recover, Hakan was on him, one hand around his throat, the other drawing back with shadows coalescing into deadly sharpness.

"Best for whom?" Hakan snarled, pressing Sarp harder against the wall. "While you played at being an advisor to my child, I didn't even know she existed!"

"Hakan, stop!" I lunged forward, grabbing his shadow-encased arm as it drew back to strike Sarp again, my light magic flaring instinctively in defense.

In his blind rage, Hakan reacted without thinking. His elbow swung back violently as he tried to shake off my grip, striking me across the face with enough force to send me sprawling across the stone. The sound of my body hitting the ground seemed to cut through his fury. His head whipped around, and the moment he saw me on the ground, realization dawned in his eyes. His face transformed, horror replacing rage as he stared at his own hand as if it belonged to someone else. The shadows around him recoiled, curling inward like wounded animals.

He released Sarp immediately and turned toward me, horror replacing fury on his face.

"Ada—" His voice cracked as he moved toward where I had fallen. "I didn't mean—that wasn't?—"

As I looked up at him from the cold stone, something crystalized in my mind—a moment of perfect clarity cutting through years of confusion and pain. The way his hand had lashed out without thought, the uncontrolled rage that had blinded him to everything but his own hurt—this was exactly why I had kept Kiraz from him. This was the confirmation of every fear that had driven me to secrecy.

"This," I whispered, my voice gaining strength as I pushed myself up. "This is why I never told you. Look at yourself, Hakan. Really look. Is this the father you would have been?"

Hakan stood frozen, his face a mask of dawning horror as the full weight of what he'd just done crashed over him. The proud shadow lord, the man who claimed rights to his daughter, had just struck the mother of his child in blind rage. His hands trembled as he stared at them, then at me, then at Sarp who was wiping blood from his split lip.

Something inside me snapped. Five years of fear, of loneliness, of protecting our child while he played the ruthless shadow lord—it all came rushing forth in a torrent of rage. I surged to my feet, light magic erupting around me like a supernova.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" I screamed, hurling a bolt of pure light that struck him squarely in the chest, sending him staggering backward. "You NEVER wanted a child! All you ever wanted was your precious shadows, your father's approval, your fucking power!"

Hakan's face registered shock as he struggled to regain his balance.

"You speak of rights?" I advanced on him, another blast of light magic keeping him off-balance. "What about MY rights? I carried her alone! I gave birth to her alone! I RAISED HER ALONE while you were busy playing the monster of the shadow realm!"

"You want to know why I never told you? LOOK AT YOURSELF!" My voice broke with fury and pain. "A man who strikes a woman, who chokes his friend, who can't control his rage long enough to think about his own child's safety! What kind of father would you have been?"

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