Page 57 of Crown of Ashes and Desire

“Good,” he replied, his face close enough that I could feel his cold breath on my cheek. “Hate is honest. Hate is pure. Hate means you still feel something.”

I jerked my head forward, smashing my forehead against his nose. The impact sent pain shooting through my skull, but the satisfaction of hearing his grunt of pain was worth it. His grip loosened for just a second—enough for me to wrench one handfree and rake my nails down his face, drawing more of that black blood.

“You fucking bitch,” he snarled, and grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanking my head back to expose my throat. Despite the fury in his voice, I noticed him wince again, as if my pain was somehow echoing through him.

Instead of striking me as I expected, he used his grip on my hair to drag me across the room, sending me sprawling onto the floor. Before I could scramble away, he was on me, flipping me onto my back, his weight pinning me down while his hands captured my wrists again.

“Is this what you wanted?” he growled, his face inches from mine, blood still trickling from the scratches I’d left. “To fight? To feel something other than your own helplessness?”

I bucked underneath him, trying to dislodge his weight. The movement caused his hips to grind over mine, and I felt his hard length against me. I wanted more, I wanted him to tear my clothes and enter me. I yearned for it, my body remembering what my mind wanted to forge. His pupils dilated, shadows curling around us both becoming dark smoke.

This was working—too well. My plan was spiraling beyond my control, threatening to consume me along with him.

“Get off me,” I demanded, though my voice lacked conviction. The heat burned through my core, reminding me of that night when he tortured me in the dungeon.

“Make me,” he challenged, then crushed his mouth to mine.

The kiss was violent, brutal, a battle rather than an embrace. I bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, and he groaned into my mouth, the sound vibrating through my body. His hand tightened in my hair, yanking my head back to deepen the kiss, while his other hand still pinned both my wrists above my head. Then he pushed his erection into me. I moaned.

My light responded of its own accord, golden tendrils intertwining with his shadows. Where they met, sparks showered around us, tiny explosions of opposing forces that refused to destroy each other.

He broke the kiss, breathing hard, only to drag me up by my hair and slam me into the nearest wall. The impact drove the air from my lungs, but before I could recover, his mouth was on mine again, his body pinning me into the cold stone. He ground his hips harder into my core, while he devoured my mouth in violent, greedy kisses. Hakan's darkness filled me with potent desire, and I panted, wanting and needing more.

"I fucking hate you," I gasped when he finally let me breathe, his lips moving to my throat.

His laugh was low and bitter. "Not as much as I hate myself for wanting you."

His hand slid beneath my shirt, cold fingers leaving trails of ice along my breasts, then he pinched my nipples, and I bucked underneath him, almost climaxing. I arched into his touch despite myself, my body betraying my mind's revulsion. He crushed his hips to mine, grinding slowly, deliberately, the hard length of him providing his unmistakable desire.

"You're mine," he growled at my throat, teeth grazing sensitive skin. "Whether you accept it or not. Whether I want it or not. We're bound."

“Never,” I gasped, even when my body arched into his touch. “I’ll never be yours again.”

He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes, his own burning with emotions too complex to name. “Liar,” he whispered, before claiming my mouth again, his grip on my hair tight enough to burn my scalp.

The world narrowed to this—to cold and heat, to shadow and light, to pleasure edged with pain. To hatred so intense it had crossed over into something else entirely, somethingjust as powerful but infinitely more dangerous.Something was happeningg between us—his darkness feeding my light, my hatred fueling his desire. I could feel him everywhere, not just where his body pinned me to the wall, but inside, through the magical connection that had once been born of love and was now twisted with pain and fury. His shadows wrapped around my golden light, merging in ways that should have been impossible, opposing forces melding instead of destroying each other.

"Do you remember?" he whispered to my skin, his voice raw. "Do you remember what we were before all this?"

"I remember you betraying me," I hissed, even when I tilted my head to give him better access to my throat. "I remember you choosing power over our love."

"Two years," he murmured, lips trailing fire down my neck. "For two years I've been remembering fragments of us, breaking through my father's spell. Two years I spent not even knowing you existed, and now—" He crushed himself harder into me, his erection rigid between my core.

I was so wet for him, so ready for him to tear my clothes off and just take me here and now.

“Now I can’t escape you.”

A throat cleared loudly, breaking the moment. We turned as one to find Sarp leaning against what remained of the doorframe, carefully averting his eyes.

Part of me was relieved by the interruption—my plan was working too well, threatening to consume me along with him.

"Well, this is awkward," Sarp's voice cut through the haze of rage and desire. "Though I have to say, as far as battlefield strategies go, 'vigorous wall sex with the enemy' is certainly… innovative."

We froze, still pressed against each other, my hands tangled in Hakan's hair, his grip tight on my hips. Arms crossed, an amused smirk played on his lips.

We turned to find Sarp leaning against what remained of the doorframe.

“Normally I’d apologize for interrupting,” he drawled, “but considering you’re doing this in a destroyed study with the door ripped off its hinges, I think you forfeited the right to privacy.” He tilted his head. “The light and shadow effects are a nice touch. Maybe dim the lightning outside, though—the constant flashing is a bit much.”

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