Page 16 of Karma's a Beach
“Even though you wanted to go for the jugular, right?” The wink Loren gives me tells me how well she knows me.
“How awkward would it be if I said how I really felt?” I ask no one in particular. “I would come off looking like a lunatic if I talked about the cheating, the drinking, the drugs, the total lack of remorse! I’m sure everyone knows a different version of Matt, but I had to go with the generic out of respect. Mrs. Serrano is suffering enough. No need for me to add to it by being spiteful.”
“Okay, but…you and Matt had made peace with each other,” Van reminds me. “What happened between the two of you is ancient history. You were kids, for crying out loud. In the end, you were friends.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” I carefully say, staring into my coffee. “We were friendly. It just made things easier for…you know…everyone.”
They all stare blankly at me.
“We were all like…this group,” I explain. “And I was the reason we all couldn’t hang out for a while. I moved away and I know that helped and made things less awkward, but I knew if I wanted to come home and see everyone, I was going to have to deal with being around Matt.” I shrug. “We had a decent talk and he apologized for a lot of stuff—but not all of it—and it was just easier to be okay with everything.”
“But you weren’t?” Roxie asks. “We all thought you were fine.”
“I was. Sort of.”
Gasps and jaw drops abound.
“Look, I can’t help it, okay? Yes, we were just kids, but I was really in love with Matt back then and he not only broke my heart, but thought it was funny! It was devastating and you all know that. His apology was fine, but I wasn’t dumb enough to believe he actually meant it. He never took anything seriously. I just got to a point where I was tired of being the one left out.”
“Okay, but to be fair, you literally moved away, Liv,” Loren tells me. “And maybe you feel like we weren’t being loyal to you because we all stayed friends with him, but…you never told us not to be.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to say they should have just known, but that would sound childish, and this whole situation is all that and more.
“It’s ancient history,” I say mildly. “I’m going to this funeral and I’m going to give my speech and I’m going to honor Matt’s memory and move on.”
No one looks convinced.
“What? I’m serious. I just want this day to be over with so I can move on and we can leave for the beach!” Now is the perfect time to switch gears. “Are we leaving today or waiting until tomorrow? It’s only a three-hour drive, so technically we could leave right from the funeral. Is that what we’re doing?”
I look directly at Vanessa since it’s her family’s house we’re going to and I figure all the plans are basically up to her.
“Um…sure!” she says, but her smile seems forced. “We need to be at the funeral home by one and I’m guessing we could potentially be on the road by four, but…is it worth getting to the house that late?”
“Late? Van, if we stuck to that schedule, we’d get there at seven. It’s June and the sun doesn’t set until almost nine. I’m not seeing a problem with it.” I glance at Roxie and Loren, but they’re both focused on their breakfast. “You know, I’m sure you have everything planned, so you just tell me where I need to be and when, and I’ll be there.”
Vanessa visibly relaxes. “Okay. Good. Because the plan was to leave early tomorrow morning and…
Someone’s phone rings and we all look around for a moment before Loren grins and announces it’s hers. “It’s Mike. I need to take this. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Loren and Mike have been together since eighth grade. They finally got engaged a few years ago and I’m seriously hoping to find that they’ve finally set a date.
“So, Rox, are you getting ready with us here, or are we just going to meet up at the funeral home?” I ask.
“My bag’s out in the car. We thought it might be nice if we could all get ready together and then go…you know…together. Maybe make it a little less emotional. Although…it’s a funeral, so I’m guessing it’s going to be sad no matter what.”
I nod in full agreement. “I definitely need to shower and try to make myself look presentable. Yesterday was rough.”
“She drank a lot,” Vanessa adds with way too much glee.
“You? You never drink a lot! What in the world happened?”
So, I launch into my story about the trip from hell and how the only things that saved me were the few extra glasses of wine and the cute guy sitting next to me.
“Ooh…cute guy sounds very nice,” Roxie teases. “If I didn’t hate all men right now, I’d probably be a little more enthused. But…good for you! At least there was a hint of a silver lining. Like…karma shined down on you to reward you after all the crappy stuff.”
“I’m not sure I would have looked at it like that, but…sure.” I finish my coffee, my belly full of waffles, and stretch. “Do you guys mind if I hit the shower first? I just still feel so grimy from all the flying.”
“You go,” Van tells me. “Roxie and I have got the cleanup. And Loren, if she ever gets off the phone with Mike.”
