Page 69 of The Pirate Takes A Bride

Nick turned on him. “I’d be happy to oblige.”

“Out,” Ashley said simply, pointing to the drawing room doors behind her.

“But Ashley,” Thomas protested.

“Out!” She looked at her father. “Would you mind, sir?”

He let out a breath, looked from his daughter to Nick and back again. “I suppose I can grant you a minute or two. But I’ll be right outside the door.”

“Thank you.”

He started through the door then looked back at Nick. “You’d better do something about the vase.”

She nodded. And then the door closed behind him, and they were alone. And all of Nick’s carefully planned speeches faded away. He could not think of a single word to say. Ashley spoke for him. “I think you’d better put down the vase. It’s my mother’s favorite. She’s threatened us with death if any harm befalls it, and I do believe she means it.” She held out her hand. “Give it to me.”

He crossed the room, stepping over a cushion, and placed the vase in her hand. She set it carefully on the floor, out of the way, but Nick kept his gaze on it. He might need it again. When she stood again, he reached for her, but she pulled back.

Chapter Twenty

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t touch me,” she said, sounding so prim and proper she hardly recognized her own voice. To her surprise, Nick withdrew his hand. When she’d rehearsed that speech in her mind, she’d thought he would ignore her, pull her into his arms anyway, and kiss her senseless. But she’d been wrong about him. She’d always been wrong about him.

But, of course, that wasn’t fair. She was the one who’d changed the rules. She’d said she didn’t want marriage, didn’t want a husband and children, but she’d changed her mind. Oh, she still wanted adventure. Truth be told, she wanted it all. Nick could give her the adventure. He could be her husband, but he couldn’t love her.

She wanted it to be enough that he was here today. He’d finally come for her. But his presence wasn’t enough. Why had he waited? Why didn’t he sweep her off her feet and carry her forcibly to that new town house he’d rented, presumably for her, and never let her go? Why did he stand here looking at her warily, as though she were a wild animal about to attack? Why couldn’t he just love her?

“Rissa has been asking about you,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back and looking a great deal like his brother, the marquess. Rissa. Yes, at least the little girl loved her.

“I’ve been to see her several times. She seems to be getting on well with the nannies I sent. Really, Nick, you needn’t have hired all three.”

“How am I supposed to know what to do?” he said, unclasping his hands and holding them out. “I need your help, Ashley. I need you.”

She waited, but that was all he said. “It’s not enough, Nick.”

“Then what do you want?”

“More.”

“More?” His face was red now, still handsome, even in anger. “I have given you everything I ever cared about. I walked away from the battle with Yussef. Do you know how long I’d been plotting my revenge?” He was stalking toward her now, and she was forced to take a step back or he’d have plowed her over. “But for you, because you asked me, because you kept telling me revenge was not the solution, I walked away. You made your way into my head with all your arguments, and I listened, and that murdering pirate is still loose on the seas.”

It was true. He had done that for her. Now, she wished he hadn’t. She wished the two of them had never met.

“I gave up my ship for you, so we could come home.”

She took another step back and her knees hit a chair. Abruptly, she sat.

“The Robin Hood meant everything to me, but you, Ashley, mean more. What kind of husband would I make if I stayed a pirate? What kind of father? I gave it up, and I haven’t looked back. And still it’s not enough. What do you want from me? What is enough for you?”

She felt tears sting her eyes. She was so weary of weeping. She’d wept so much the past days, she didn’t think she had any more tears in her. “I want it all,” she whispered. “I want you. All of you.” She looked into his eyes, so clear and blue. His face, so strong and handsome. “I want you to love me.”

“Would I have done all of that if I didn’t?”

She held her breath. Perhaps he did love her after all. Yussef and the ship might have been his sacrifices, but she’d fallen in love with him when he’d seen her disfigured leg and wanted her anyway. Wasn’t that another show of love? She tried to rise, to take him in her arms, but she could not. She needed the words. She needed to know he meant them. She wanted what Catie had, what Josie had, and from what she had heard, what Maddie and Lord Blackthorne had.

She should have called on her friends, instead of hiding away, but what would she say when they asked about Lord Nicholas? That she loved him, but he didn’t love her back? She didn’t want their looks of pity before the three of them returned to their loving husbands and she returned to a cold bed.

Ashley took a breath. “I’m not seeking to separate or d-divorce.” What an awful word. “I would never put my family or yours through that sort of scandal. We can remain married, but for now I want to live apart. I need time to think. Perhaps, in a few months, we might speak again, and circumstances might be different.”

Perhaps she could live without love.

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