Page 94 of Her Loyalty

"I don't feel nun'." He went on with a shrug, making me slant my lips.

"Why are you hiding your feelings?"

I knew on the surface he looked fine, he always played that role well but on the inside this was obviously eating him up.

"Did you want me to be pregnant?" I ended up asking, running my hand over his waves and he didn't say anything.

"Mm, baby?" I hummed, rubbing a hand down his face and he just nodded slowly.

My heart sunk realizing I'd been gloating and walking around all day with a smile on my face while he was hurting.

"You really think we were ready?" I couldn't help but to ask him.

"Yeah, T. Why not?" He spoke up, pulling back to look in my eyes.

"Why not?" He asked again, just looking at me.

"Why couldn't we have a baby? I love you, you love me.." He trailed off.

"We been together six years, ma."

"And I thought I was finally gon' have something to live for." He looked down, making my heart ache.

"I was ready, T."

"You think you don't have anything to live for, Dominic?" I spoke softly, completely thrown off. I had no idea he'd even felt this way, this was breaking my heart.

"Baby.." He trailed off.

"My mama gone, my pops walked out.."

"Only two people I'm really living for is you and Deja but that's different from what I thought I was about to experience. You feel me?" He went on, looking me in my eyes.

"I figured I could finally have something to live for. Especially comin' from you, baby, that shit meant the world to me."

"Having a little you or a little me running around that I could love unconditionally. Somebody that look up to me and I can be their favorite person, their super hero." He admitted and I just sat there listening to his words.

"I just came to terms with it faster than I thought I would and na' that happiness and hope I had about it was snatched away."

"I understand what you mean." I nodded, looking down at my hands.

"Now I'm kind of sad that I'm not." I smiled small and he shook his head.

"Na, baby."

"Na' don't think of it like that. I'm not saying it like I'm mad at you. A nigga just in his feelings."

"No, I know." I nodded, looking up.

"But you don't have to be. I promise that we can try again one day. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"Only you." I assured him while he looked into my eyes.

"Yeah?" He leaned in, mushing his head in the crook of my neck again.

"Yes, babe. I promise." I promised him, I wouldn't want it to be with anyone else but him.

"Can I put one in you right na'?" He asked in my ear and I couldn't help but to laugh, he had to as well.

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