Page 104 of Wicked

“He was the husband of my grandmother, Nonna.”

“The cool, full of life one? The freethinker?”

“Yes,” I say.

“They must have been quite the couple.”

“The coolest couple ever,” I say before pausing. “They still are.”

Raven leans into me, and she speaks low. “That’s right. They are.”

Tito wanders over, and he sits with us. I rub his head, and he looks up at me. I tell my lone wolf self that there is no harm in sharing energy like this and opening myself up. I have never done it,ever.

One day, I’ll have to work out why I’ve become such a cold, isolated human. What the hell am I thinking?

In a week, or a month, I may never see Raven, or even Tito, again.

As I feel them both against me, I try to work out what the hell is going on, and why here and now people and beings are connecting with me.

Maybe it’s just the universe, or maybe, just maybe it’s Nonno. I’ve never fallen in love, and I’ve never told a woman I love her. Maybe I’m too walled off. Too isolated. Too controlling and too commanding.

Too inhuman and maybe, just maybe, too messed up to love.

As I try to work out why I’m such a lone wolf, I remember being sent to boarding school as a kid.

That was when I was forced to become afamily of one. To fend for myself and stand up to bullying. To also protect others from bullying.

From when I was young, I was a family of one, and I lived in boarding schools.

I never had the full protection of a normal family or tribe, and I always had to be on guard.

I think about my last decade, being in NYC, and carving my way through life. Being alone, being single, and in and out of short, wild relationships has been good, but there is something about the touch of another. And something about connecting.

As a cold isolated son of a bitch, and male, I’ll one day have to understand what women naturally get or understand that we do not.

That connections are key, and becoming an island is not entirely healthy.

As we sit in silence, I pat Tito, and he looks down at the village. I follow his eye, and I look down to the trees, dunes, horses, and cove.

As Raven leans against me, I start to miss my grandfather. My anchor in life. I pull Raven closer, and she snuggles in. It feels good.Too good.

Even if it can never last, it feels good… Here and now.

As we walk back down to the castle, I’m quiet and contemplative. I try to work out if all this connecting to my past and opening up is good and productive. Or if I’m messed up, broken, and unfixable.

No good to anyone.

44

RAVEN

Outside the castle’s main door, I pat Tito and look up at silent Dante. “Let’s go see your grandmother,” Dante says nothing, but he nods.

As he heads for the Range Rover, I slide into the Ferrari driver’s seat.

Our eyes finally meet, and we say nothing. Tito then jumps into the back of the Ferrari, and we both watch Dante. Eventually, Dante climbs in, and I drive carefully away in the expensive, fast car.

We reach Dante’s grandmother's villa, or as he calls her, his Nonna.

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