Page 43 of Gorgeous Nightmare

Stumbling around the room, I come across a letter,folded neatly with my name handwritten across the front.

No.

I open it with shaky hands, barely able to hold it still enough to read the smooth writing across the page.

I breathe in deeply, feeling like my sanity is going to slip with each word I read. I prepare myself for the worst.

My Gorgeous Nightmare,

There’s a version of me that only existed in your arms.

You were the only light I ever let into my darkness. The only little spark I wanted to keep.

And I did… for a little while.

Looking back, this last week has been the happiest time of my life. A time when the darkness didn’t feel so overwhelming.

It was like I could finally breathe.

And you were the air that filled my lungs.

I told myself I was protecting you, but we both knew the truth.

You were always the stronger one.

You’re everything I never thought I could have. Everything I didn’t know I needed. And I’m so fucking sorry for not getting to you sooner.

For not being enough when you needed me.

But I can be enough for you now.

My soul for yours.

If she keeps her word, you’ll be free. No more nightmares. No more looming shadows or demons haunting your sleep.

You’ll wake up to cold sheets and quiet nights, but I hope you still feel me there anyway.

In the way the rain flows from the sky and gathers in puddles at your feet. I’ll be there.

When the wind howls and the moths flutter by.

When candles flicker without reason.

When the dark feels a little warmer thanit should.

That will be me.

I didn’t know how to say it then, but I’ll say it now, carved in ink so you’ll always have it to look back at.

Aisling,

I loved you.

I love you.

In the kind of way that breaks timelines and every law of reason.

You weren’t just a girl I loved.

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