Page 35 of Love the Stars Fondly
“Luis said you went to the hospital so much because of the drugs. He said they wouldn’t allow visitors while they helped you.”
“Well, that’s not how any of that happened,” Teresa replied. She stayed with me the entire time, keeping Luis from doing anything more to me. “What about when he broke her wrist for the fourth time? That was only a few years ago.”
I’m ashamed to think back on all of this, at how long I let it go on. Years of beatings and abuse before I finally got help. I recognize the same shame in Mama as she avoids looking at me. She knew, but she couldn’t stop it, so it became easier to pretend not to see it. Maybe he threatened her, too.
“What else did he tell you?”
“He said when you got home, you stole money from him to get drugs on the street when you took all yours from the doctor too fast.”
“He stole them before I ever took any. Sold them while I suffered, miserable and in pain.” I rub my wrist as the memories of how badly it hurt come back to me. “He thought he could be a drug runner for the gang, that it would make him rich. He sold them my prescriptions to impress them and said he would get more. He wanted to keep hurting me until I died!”
“My Luis wouldn’t do that.”
“You’re right,yourLuis wouldn’t. ButyourLuis no longer exists.” I hold my hand out, offering it to my mother. She stares at it for a while, studying it like she’s checking for teeth. I don’t want her to blame herself for any of this; he hides his true nature from people, uses them. “We married too young, Mama. Neither of us were ready, and Luis didn’t treat me very well even before that. All those times I couldn’t come over, couldn’t eat, couldn’t take off my jacket? Luis did that. He stole from me, lied to me, lied to my family.”
“He used to be a good boy,” she whispers.
“Tía, if you see him again, you need to tell the security guard, okay? If you can’t find them, well, call the police or stay near people.” She squeezes my hand as she tells my mother of hospital trips, walk-in clinics, and driving me all the way to south Orange County to see new doctors when the ones here stopped treating me.
She’s reluctant, but after Teresa talks to her, my mother gives in and promises not to talk to him anymore. It’s hard on her because she only wants to remember Luis as a young boy, because those are memories with Papa. My father treated Luis like a son, always saying Luis made him proud and how one day, Luis would build me a castle and make me a princess. I wanted to believe that fairytale would come true. Or maybe I missed my father. I always believed things would have been different if Papa hadn’t died.
It’s after midnight when Teresa and I say our goodbyes. We make plans to get lunch before she heads back home to Chicago. After she leaves, I start a fresh pot of coffee and take my meds out of the fridge. My head aches, and my body is sore from the stress. I take my injection, hoping it will stave off the flare that’s coming. I try to convince myself it won’t be so bad the day after an injection, but that’s not true. Those are some of the hardest days for me and we still don’t understand why.
I sit down at the table with my coffee, a piece of pizza, and a box of grading I need to get through. I’m only three tests in when my phone chirps, but I ignore it. Chase will understand. It chirps again and I sigh, staring at the paper in front of me and trying to read this student’s handwriting. Next year, no more paper tests. I’ve had enough of this. The third time it chirps, I scoop it up in frustration, but it’s not Chase.
DANIELLA
Dude, where are you?
Wake up, I need to know you’re okay!
Luis is here, and I’m freaking the fuck out!
When she answers, it’s difficult to hear her over the noise of the club, but I can tell she’s walking as the sounds become distant and muffled.“TELL ME YOU’RE AT HOME!”
“I am, and you don’t have to yell. Are you okay?”
“Yeah! Xander and his weird ass rich white boy posse are watching him. I’ll probably go to his place tonight. Hey, look at us, both catching a rich white guy!”
It’s been a running joke between my sister, my mother, and I that her kids only date white people since all of my brothers are with white partners. Mama loves to joke back, saying she doesn’t know where she went wrong. She says that even more with Dani, who has spent months trying to explain that pansexual doesn’t mean she enjoys cooking.
“You’re crazy. Be safe and stay away from you know who. I love you.”
“You too! I’ll call if shit gets too weird, but so far, he’s hanging out by the bar. He knows I’ve seen him. Fucker.”
I hang up and open my laptop, writing a quick email to my lawyer, telling her Luis has been contacting my family, or at least hanging around where they’ll see him. It’s a scare tactic, and we’re not falling for it. Mama, well, I’m not sure what she thinks after everything tonight. When I’m done, I go back to grading.
The next time my phone chirps, I’m startled by it, fully in the grading zone and nearly done. The clock tells me it’s after three in the morning.
Snuggle Puppy
Hey, beautiful. I wanted to check in. Hopefully, this doesn’t wake you and you’re sound asleep after having a wonderful night with your cousin. Sorry about the drunk call. I hope I wasn’t too much of an ass.
I flip through the last of the tests and decide to finish them tomorrow on my lunch break. I pack everything up and as I go to stand, my body reminds me I’ve been in that position for far too long. My joints gelled from lack of movement and none of them will move. I hobble to the bathroom, skip half of my nightly routine, and crash hard into my bed. If I’m lucky, I might get three hours of sleep, otherwise, the pain will keep me awake until the alarm goes off.
Twenty minutes later, I unplug my phone and curl into a ball under the covers.
Sorry I didn’t text. Late night. You weren’t an ass.
