Page 103 of Never To Suffer

“Ah, yeah. Did a lot of running, I guess. I’ve picked up the weights again once I got back here.”

“What gym? Isn’t mine, so isn’t the best.”

“Mine, fucker!” Coop yells out, handing a beer over to Steve. “Better than yours, because it’s private!”

“Sneaky bastards,” Steve flashes a suspicious glance toward Jamie.

“I didn’t know. Don’t look at me like that. Shit, I didn’t even know he was back in town!” Jamie adds, throwing his arms up as he drops to a stool.

“Dude, you’ve been a hermit for two months. Like, you ghosted Coop and I, and I think the only person you see is Alexis,” Steve points out, narrowing his eyes. “You better be seeing her, anyhow.”

“I didn’t ghost you! And yes, of course I see my wife. Every night, when she comes to check on me and distracts me, so I won’t work through till morning.” He winks and tips the bottle he’s holding back. He nudges Dani with his elbow before he leans in and talks to her with voices so quiet, I can’t make out what they’re saying. I’m happy she’s talking to anyone.

“So, the bitch came back. Again. Oh, and Elle, too.” Steve jokes. “But also, does anyone else get the vibe she’s luring us all in for some evil trap?”

“How can she have anything planned when she’s in jail?” Ethan asks.

“Because she’s not only the wicked bitch of the west, she’s THE wicked bitch. She’s got hidden assets and connections, crazy mad computer skills, and money with a capital M. Like Mommy. Cause that’s who’s holding onto her money while she’s locked up.” Steve laughs at himself, but Ethan and I both groan and shake our heads. “Oh, come on, Sweets! That one was good!”

“In no world, Pumpkin. In absolutely no world,” Ethan teases. I am going to like him.

We spend the next hour playing the guessing game Elle wants us to play, trying to get ahead of her and knowing we’re already three steps behind. We talk about not going, but we’ll go. This could be the key to keeping her locked up, since right now they only have her on some lower level charges since that’s allthey could make stick. After a while, we’re all tired of giving Elle Petrov any more of our time or energy. At least for today. As that conversation winds down, another one comes up.

“No, I don’t want to talk about it! If I did, I’d talk to Theo, the shrink in this relationship!”

“Theo’s the one breaking Xander’s back, though.” Steve points out in a way only Steve can. “You can’t ask him. That would be messed up. Like hey, my boyfriend, also your boyfriend, is mad at me. Could you talk to him while you shove your dick in his mouth?”

“Eww, Steve! God, you suck.”

“I do, but so does Xander.” Steve cracks back, getting an eye roll from Ethan. “What? Just saying.”

“It doesn’t even matter since he’s been in Paris, anyhow. At least he’s trying to fix his relationship with his family.” Dani scoffs. “What does he even tell her about the three of us?”

“He told her about us, and it sounds like it went well.” I answer her. “I thought I’d wait for you and Xander before we get the full rundown.”

Her shoulders slump and she mumbles, pushing away from the table. “I’ll meet you outside. I don’t want to drink anymore.”

“Shit, I didn’t mean to piss her off,” Steve says, slouching his shoulders.

“She’s in her own head,” Chase answers, nudging Jamie. “Come on, Jimmy Jam, we got this.”

CHAPTER 43

DON’T TELL ME NO

MR BELLA

I can giveevery excuse in the book, apologize a thousand times, beg on my hands and knees, but it won’t matter. I said such awful things, things that I must have, at some level, believed. Why else would I say them to him? Why do I do these things to him, treat him like my emotional tackle dummy? We both already have the answer to that. We said so much the other day.

He comes back.

Ever since that first time he came back to me, I’ve pushed the boundaries further and further, until I broke through them the other night, completely disregarding the flashing lights and warning messages going off in my head that begged me to stop.

“Xander doesn’t deserve that from anyone, but he especially doesn’t deserve it from me,” I explain to Jamie as I sit in his jeep, waiting for Skylar and the boys to come out of the bar so I can go home. “I knew what he’d been doing, so why now? I mean, I didn’t know everything. I knew people paid to watch him online, and I knew he met up with guys for sex. Hell, we both did. Open relationship. But I also knew he paid for it with blood. How many times did he come home broken and bruised becauseof them, because I wasn’t enough? Why am I only mad about it now?”

“Because you’re flying so close to the sun, the wings are melting off.” Jamie replies. “Fly high, if that’s what you want. I won’t stop you. But you stole the wings off someone else, strapped them on, and expected them to work for you.”

“What?”

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