Page 104 of Never To Suffer

“You work so hard on things for yourself, Dani. But anything that comes along that doesn’t directly impact you, or, heaven forbid, causes you to stumble, struggle, or lose focus even for a split second? That shit throws you off your game instead of making you try harder.”

“Idotry.”

“Yeah, you do. But you don’t tryharder. Not all obstacles are barricades.” He checks over his shoulder to for the rest of the group. “I mean, listen to what you said. You’re mad because you don’t believe you’re enough for Xander. But in an open relationship, that means you were sleeping with other people, too. Double standard.”

“What if he means it, Jamie? What if, right when I’m finding the most epic poly fam ever, I screw it up by chasing away the one who means the most? The one who’s my rock.”

“You’re already picking favorites, then?” He teases.

“No! I didn’t mean…I mean…”

“I’m kidding, jeez. That’s not how it works.” He digs around in his jacket pocket and pulls out a bag of marijuana gummies. “Alexis left these in here the last time she borrowed my hoodie. Take one. It will help. I’ll tell Skylar to drive you somewhere fun for the buzz.”

“I don’t need to be high, Jamie. I need to be less of a psychopath. You guys shouldn’t be the only people I can keep in my life. And to be fair, you wouldn’t even be IN my life if youhadn’t fought to stay. I damn near sabotaged this, too! So many times!”

“Sleeping with Steve and then Devin to try to blow up a couple of friendships was a choice. I’ll give you that.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I hate that I did that. I’m glad I haven’t chased you guys away yet.”

“Yeah, because you can’t get rid of us, babe. We’re like a rash!” Coop says, as he climbs into the other side of the jeep and gives me a hug from behind. “Sorry, had to pay before I came out here.”

“Oh my god, who else heard all of that?”

“Nobody. They're making nicey-nice or whatever. I bailed so they could do it without me.”

“You’re in a mood,” I snarl. Rolling my eyes and trying to pull out of his one-armed hug, and failing. “Anything new since you proposed to my sister?”

“Doc says she needs a few more tests, but she kicked me out of the room for a few hours so she could sleep. I might have gotten a little too high, but I don’t care. Oh, did I mention I’m on about three hours of sleep over the last two days?” He grins, kissing my cheek. “So, how bad did it get?”

“Bad. Double bad. Super ultra bad. Like, I can’t take this shit back kind of bad and now he won’t talk to me. I wouldn’t talk to me either, not after what I said. God, I’m awful.”

“Want us to talk to him?” Jamie offers.

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I shouldn’t even be saying this to you guys, but I am, so don’t make it extra weird next time you see him, okay?” They both nod. “He thinks you guys hate him. He calls youmyfriend, never his. Except for Steve, but those two have been playing a game of who gets to screw the new guy first for too long now. Go figure, the one of you he considers a friend is the one I’ve slept with.”

“You also slept with?—”

“DON’T GO THERE, BRO!” Coop and I both cut Jamie off before he can remind me once again that I banged Coop’s brother. Neither of us are over that mistake.

“Okay, okay!” Jamie throws his arms up like we’re going to swing on him. “I get it. But it’s true. So Xander thinks, what? That we don’t like him, actively hate him, or somewhere in between?”

“Leaning more toward actively hate. It’s his own fault for his entire phase of letting people believe he dealt drugs. He joked about it, how people judged him because of how he dressed. Of course, he actually supplied drugs to you guys once.”

“Are you still pissed at me for that?” Coop asks. “It happened ONE time, and I had signed my first actual contract for that superhero thing. I had to at leasttrycoke, didn’t I? And I did it around people I trusted—Xander and Steve.” He winks at Jamie and shrugs. “I knew you’d be pissed and kick my ass for it, so I never told you. Sorry, Dad.”

“You’re a dick.” Jamie shakes his head. “Also, you’re the one who told me he was a dealer!”

“He was. I mean, once, to me. And Steve. Plus, they were always the two who had the weed!”

“Why didn’t he ever tell me he wasn’t?” Jamie asks, that crease between his eyebrows getting deeper.

Xander enjoyed the game and would give nonsensical answers or walk away without denying a thing. The rumor started at one of Chase’s parties, and seemed to grow from there, and it became a character Xander played to protect himself from the truth. To him, a drug dealer to Hollywood’s elite had a better ring to it than the rich screw-up Dani pity dates. It gave him a reason to be there that wasn’t me.

“He liked the attention. It got him a few clients for his other side hustle, too. The real one.” I pull out my phone, still noresponse to the texts I’ve sent him. He’s been gone a week, and I haven’t told Theo about the fight yet, but I’m sure Skylar has. “What am I supposed to do? What if he doesn’t want to come back? There’s a giant hole in our wall connecting us to the place he considers safe, so he won’t stay there.”

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