Page 119 of Never To Suffer

“Relax, kid. By the way, nice suit.”

I don’t text them until I’m almost back at our building, telling them nothing other than I’ll be up shortly. I pop the trunk on Theo’s car and pull the bag out, careful to shove something between the bottles so they don’t clank around as I stick them into my backpack. As I expected them to be, Dani, Theo, and Skylar are all standing outside of our doors.

“Oh, honeybee,” Dani comes to me first, throwing her arms around me as I keep my head down. I’m surprised she doesn’t catch on that I’m faking it and hiding my smile.

“It’s cool,” I choke out. “I, uhm, grabbed lunch on the way back. Not in the mood to go out.”

Skylar reaches around me and lifts the backpack, trying to take it off my shoulders. “Dude, what the hell do you have in here? A pound of bricks? I thought you said you stopped for lunch?”

“It’s nothing.” I shrug. “A couple of bottles of champagne to celebrate that they’re on board to fund the project.” They all step away from me and I pick my head up. “I’m going to talk to Laurie’s guy tomorrow about contract negotiations. But they loved the concept. They’re all in.”

“Ahhh!” Dani screams as they all hug me. Their contagious excitement has me laughing and hugging them back. I’m not a fuckup. For the first time in a long time, I’m overwhelmed by the notion I’ve done something right, and now I’m being rewarded for it. Not for my name, or what my parents have done with their lives, but for me, for my ideas.

And I have a family to share it with, a family that’s proud of me and believed in me from the beginning. A family that doesn’tgive a shit about the content I’ll be working with or judge me for the things I like. In fact, they love me and all my weird little kinks.

“Hey Xan,” Skylar says, biting their lip nervously. “I was, uhm—I asked Dani first, but what if…uhm…”

“They want to do a video with you!” Dani blurts out, causing Theo to choke and Skylar to blush.

“What? Seriously? Like, for the site?” I’m in shock. “You know what that means, right? I mean, the only way to hide your identity involves, like, a full body suit or something.”

“No hiding. One stipulation.” I narrow my eyes, curiosity eating away at me. “I want it to be live. I want to know people are watching us.”

“Well look at that,” Theo teases. “You’ve finally found a way to take care of that exhibitionist streak without the cops coming after you for indecent exposure. You were getting pretty close on stage, my friend.”

“I’m not your friend, Theo,” Skylar laughs. “I’m your lover, lover.”

“Yes, to that request, Sky. In fact, we’re going to be the first live stream for the site! Now come on, I’m starving.”

Dani kisses my cheek. “I’m going to watch the hell out of that live stream while Theo eats me out. But yeah, let’s get inside. Your man has been stress-baking since you left, and we have so much food right now!”

CHAPTER 49

TOO MUCH

DOVE CAMERON

“A cabin?Like, in the woods and shit? Where wolves live?” I ask, lying across his bare chest as the sun rises. The sheets are loosely wrapped around us and his fingers play in my hair at the back of my neck.

“No wolves, Dani. And not exactly a cabin, but a house off the grid. It’s not that eccentric of an idea. The peace and quiet of the trees, the trickle of water from the stream that runs through the back of the property. It’s an oasis, a perfect retreat from city life.”

“There are still bears, though, right?” His chest shakes as he laughs, deep and soothing. If I’m not careful, I’ll fall asleep here in his warm, strong arms. He’s like a bear in some ways, but not as furry once you get past the beard. The soft sprinkle of hair on his chest matches his head, and it tickles him when I run my ringers through the patch or try to follow it down to the other patch further south. The trail that leads to a sleeping monster.

“Yes, there are. Stuffed ones with little red shirts.” He stretches his arms high over his head. In a panic, I nuzzle against his chest. I don’t want him to leave the bed, not yet. “You’re okay, sugar. I’m not kicking you out of bed yet.”

“Are you a shrink or a mind reader?”

“Bit of both most days. We’ll get out of bed when you’re ready for breakfast, and not a moment before.” His gentle kiss on top of my head sends a shiver down my spine and the smile it pulls from me has me blushing even if no one can see.

This isn’t how mornings go with Xander. This is more like Sky, but even then, it’s not the same. Xander rarely sleeps past sunrise and spends mornings on his computer either working on new programs, teaching himself code, or playing video games while he drinks his coffee. The only thing that can pull him away from the computer in the morning is sex, and he doesn’t care where. Shower, bed, floor, couch, kitchen counter, anywhere. And that was just yesterday.

Skylar changes like the phases of the moon. In the hotels, they don’t want to get out of bed or wake up early. Every time one of us finds ourselves awake before noon on the road, they crawl between my legs and I end up with some part of them inside me. Sleepily teasing and playing with me until we both finished and fell back asleep. They work at their own pace and no one else’s, and that pace is slow and steady. They thrive on the experience, wishing they could view the world in slow motion. They take their time, mapping out freckles on my body, every noise I make, every piece of me that reacts to their touch. At home, though? They wake before the sun to watch it rise from his nest of solitude on the fire escape.

Maybe it’s greedy to want to give in to these dark desires, but only because society has forgotten how we’re programmed as people. Too many conservative minds run the show now, and that puts people like us under a microscope. Our lifestyle isn’t new, unheard, or unnatural like they believe it to be. Of course, these are the same bastards that think the earth is flat and vaccines cause autism. The patriarchy has forced humanity into this monogamy idea, and no one wants to take a closer look at why marriages fail and people cheat—it would upsetsome religious organization’s pockets. The ancients, even the Indigenous way of life, accepted that our brains aren’t wired like that. It’s a tribe, a group effort to keep everyone alive and happy, and these tie wearing assholes think there wasn’t sharing going on back then? Take all the seats, madam.

I’m not greedy, I’m just a woman who knows what she wants. And one third of what I want happens to be lying in bed next to me right now.

“I wonder how Skylar and Xander are doing,” I sigh, stretching as I check the time. We still have hours before I need to be back down at the studio for rehearsal, but I can’t exactly lie around here all day.

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