Page 17 of Never To Suffer

“You know me, Shawn. Always down for a temptation or three.”

“Skylar!”

“I’m kidding. G’night, Shawn.”

After we hang up, I plan a way to deal with Robin while I burn through another cigarette. When I open the door, though, she’s already moved on. Good for her. I pay the bartender and do the same, walking back to my motel room alone and in the rain.

I peel off the jacket and hang it in the shower to dry before I crash down onto the bouncing bed. The lights are all off, so I fish my earbuds out of my pocket, pull up my playlist, and close my eyes. The tune fills my ears seconds before her voice does, and it’s not long before my fingers are moving across an invisible instrument, playing along with them.

My night-after-night routine.

Same thing every night for the last two years; since I picked up the bass again—listening and learning each new song they play. The only things that change are the rooms I’m in and the random order I play the songs. Shuffling between them makes learning the music a little harder and takes more concentration. More brain power into this means less room for another trip to the bar, a phone call, a dealer, and my life slipping away again.

The darkness of the room and the steady rain on the tin roof outside take over, pushing sleep and heavy eyes over me like a blanket. That’s when my second routine begins.

“Please. Let it be her in my dreams, and not the nightmares.”

I’m asking my brain more than I’m asking some god; I don’t believe in higher powers. If anything, there’s a handful of Loki replicas up there running this place. Nothing else makes sense, at least not to me. Why should I pray to a god that causes so much pain? Oh, and that whole bit about him only giving you what you can take? That’s not a god I care to give my time to.

Too many damn Lokis.

As hard as I try, and as much as I beg, I don’t dream about her.

CHAPTER 8

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

THE HIVES

“It’s only beena few weeks and you’re already moving back in with your mom?” the pink-haired goth girl asks me while I hold a dress up to her and scrunch my nose.

“Yep! Xander mentioned something about unsafe living environments in our notice, so maybe they won’t charge us. You should have been there the other day. I woke up freezing my ass off, but by the time we tried to go to bed, I ended up sleeping in the tub surrounded by ice packs. Fucking insane.” A piece of bright green fabric grabs my attention, so I grab it, presenting it with a waggle of my eyebrows to Alexis.

“No. Not green, please. It’s a fantastic color for you, but I’m a pale white girl. It makes me come off as…toxic and sickly.”

“Fiiiiine. I’ll buy it for myself. I can work on it on the drive to Portland.”

“You will not!” Our heads snap up at the familiar voice as we both smile at the gorgeous, tall blond who could be a double for Marilyn Monroe walking our way. “First off, why are you showing dresses to Lexi? You don’t have the million dollars it would take to get her into one! And, also, I want it! I need something new for your show when it rolls through LA.”

“Oh my god, Laurie!” I scream and throw myself around her. “I’d love it if you came to the show. If we make it that far.”

“You will! Craig’s bringing a bunch of guys from the gym, and I’ve got flyers up all over the firm.” She flashes a sympathetic glance as her long, slender fingers rest on my shoulders. “I hope it’s okay, but we’re skipping any of the nights you aren’t playing, so once we have dates, we’ll buy whatever we need. We already have tickets for the finals, too, because you’re making it to the fucking finale. Do you understand me?”

“Same for us, Steve, and Ethan,” Lexi adds. “It depends on the Parrots’ schedule, but some of the other guys on Ethan’s team said they wanted to go, too.”

“Oh my god, we’re going to have a crowd? We need to make the finals now.”

“That’s what I said. So, pick out a whole new wardrobe to work on, missy,” Laurie says as she types on her phone, not bothering to glance up. “Remember when we used to go watch Steve’s ex?”

“Steve’s ex? As in Kennedy?” Lexi questions, eyes narrowing and face turning like she bit into something sour.

“She couldn’t play an instrument if her life depended on it. Except maybe the skin fl?—”

“Dani! Come on, she’s trying. She has a new job, and it’s going well. Coop says she’s almost unrecognizable now.”

“As what? A porn star? Because I’m pretty sure that’s her calling.” My head snaps toward Lexi as she rolls her eyes and gives methatface. “What? That’s a compliment! Porn stars are bad ass! Whatever, Laurie’s talking about Skylar, who played in a band when they dated Steve. Mad skills on the bass, a phenomenal body, a functional brain, and a pretty face.”

“That pretty face broke my brother’s heart,” Laurie adds as she eyes the clothes on a new rack. “I’d be mad about it if Steve hadn’t found Ethan, but I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t missthem. I hope they’re doing okay. Wherever they ended up after all that shit happened. I always thought they’d end up with you.”

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