Page 25 of Never To Suffer

“I’ll bring you a closet full of ties, and you can do whatever you want with them. And me.” I grip her inner thigh and open her legs for me. Two fingers slip through her, teasing her clit before sliding inside her. The slower I move, the more she begs, gripping my shirt in her fists and pulling me down to her.

“Oh fuck, Xander! You’re going to make me cum too fast!”

“Oh no! I’ll have to do it again, won’t I?” I pull my fingers out, licking them as she giggles and reaches down to unzip my pants. My breath catches when she takes me into her hand, squeezing just enough to get that first pathetic whimper out of me. I fall forward, caging her between my arms and breathing her air while she lines me up. As I sink into her, and her legs find their spot around my hips, I can’t hold back the string of obscenities followed by a litany of promises to worship her forever. Until I’m bottoming out and I’m left shuddering over her and gasping for air, the world fades away. I’m surrounded by her and only her.

I’ve memorized every move and every noise she’ll make for me before she does, because I’ve done nothing but study this woman and what makes her tick since the first time we kissed. I interpret her mumbles and songs, bringing her to her highest high before I coax her down. She tightens her grip around me, and I shift my hips in response, moving in quick, deep thrusts, like she begs me to.

“When I come back, I’m never letting you wear clothes in this place. That way, I can bend you over and take this pretty pussy anytime I want.” I thrust harder, both of us panting like animals.

“God, you’d be a menace. Oh, Xander…please!” Her words fail her, becoming quick, breathy squeaks as she reaches that peak.

“I love you, Beetle,” I whisper against her skin. We’re both close. Too close, too fast. I can’t help it right now. I’m desperate for her after spending the day with those stuck-up assholes. Dani gets me; she understands who I am and loves me for it, anyway. She understands that after dealing with so many frigid people today, I need her warmth, her softness.

“I love you, too! But Xander?” Her breathy voice drives me harder. “Oh fuck! Oh shit! Can you…maybe…wear the fancy suit…more often!”

“Only for you, Beetle. But first, I want you to ruin this one. Fucking soak it for me, baby.” I cry out for her as she throbs around me and my balls tighten. We collapse together in a heap on the floor, surrounded by Chinese take-away cartons, an empty wine bottle, and all our possessions. I stay inside her warmth, letting the exhaustion of the last few weeks take us both.

I can’t wait for my mother to ask why I need to pick up another pair of pants from my stash at the house.

CHAPTER 12

MANEATER

GRACE MITCHELL

I hatethe expression about morning coming too early, but I understand it. Xander’s arm drapes over my stomach as he snores softly next to me. I glance around and recognize the bedroom, meaning Xander carried me in here at some point last night after we dozed off. But now I need to pee, so I slip out from under him while trying not to wake him. Time to get ready for the drive up to Portland.

Or should stay here, where I’m warm and wanted. I gnaw on my bottom lip as I turn my head to face Xander’s fluffy head of hair and let my mind wander back to last night, the suit, how different he acts in that world. Like he belongs there, behind a large wooden desk with some hot secretary pretending to take notes in her half unbuttoned top. We daydream about what his life would be like if he’d never met me, but he never takes it seriously. I’ll talk about his big house, fancy car, and all the people taking care of anything he needs. He’ll counter with the unhappy trophy wife, the kids they had out of obligation and not love, and the coldness of their conversations. No matter what illusion of richness I create, he reminds me there’s a darker side behind it.

We were around seventeen when I invited him over to meet my mother for the first time. I told him to come for dinner and movies. He showed up in a suit and a giant bunch of flowers. He spent the first twenty minutes staring at us, mesmerized by the way we passed the food around, talked, laughed—not a cell phone in sight. Something as basic as sitting on the couch and talking to my mom while we watched TV was foreign to him. That’s when I knew I’d never shake him; I’d shown him the world he’d struggled to find right there in my house.

I made a big show of him leaving for the night before sneaking him back into the house. Mama caught us in the kitchen, forks in hand and ready to dive into some leftovers. We were high as kites and all she yelled at us to clean up our mess together when we were done. I sometimes wonder if she meant the dishes or the consequences of our life together.

I love the warmth of those memories, and they’re a core reason I’m both thrilled to have him, and terrified I’ll break him. I kiss his head and grab my bag, shutting myself in the bathroom. It doesn’t take long to get ready since we’re all piling into Connor’s van and driving the fifteen hours it will take to get to our motel in Portland. I pull on sweatpants, but don’t bother with a shirt, deciding to nab one of Xander’s so I can keep him close while we’re apart.

When I open the door and peek out, Xander sits against the wall, messing around on my phone. I watch him for a minute before clearing my throat and announcing myself. “I don’t think there are many people in this world who would sleep on the floor with me, only for me to get up and leave the next morning on a road trip.”

“Would you rather stay at your mom’s place, hot stuff? I thought staying here would be a bit more, I dunno, romantic?” He stares up at me, a dopey grin and his glasses both lopsided on his face. I’ve told him to be more careful about falling asleepwith the glasses on since we can’t afford new ones right now, but he still forgets. Especially when he’s reading or coding. “Connor said he’s running late. Come back to bed?” He holds out his hand and I take it, letting him pull me onto his lap.

“We should get this mattress replaced,” I joke as he holds me. “The spring jabbed me in the back all night.”

“That spring’s got a mind of its own, but it wasn’t your back it wanted to jab.” He squeezes his eyes shut and puckers his lips, so I give him a quick, silly kiss. “But seriously, that might be a priority. I’m getting too damn old for the floor.” He winces, shifting into a better position to hold me.

“You’re not old.” I reach up and adjust his glasses, sliding them up his face for him before I kiss the tip of his nose. “I’m worried this floor will be more comfortable than the van. Hell, probably the hotel. At least it’s only Connor, Noah, and I.”

“Rory wouldn’t have lasted an hour in that van with you all.” He pauses, his brows pulling together. “Wait, does that mean you’ll miss me and our cozy little make-believe bed?”

“Duh.”

“Aww. I’ll miss you, too.”

“Yeah, from your boujee hotel with its fancy-ass color TV.”

“I’d rather have you. So, what about the new guy?”

“Todd? Ugh, I forgot about him,” I groan, and he raises an eyebrow. “I don’t like him, but we’re making it work. At least until the first break, when we’ll have more time to try people out.”

He nods, turning his face away and running a hand through his hair. Xander has a specific face he makes when he’s got something on his mind that he needs to let go of. He scowls and this little crease forms between his eyebrows while he stares off at something distant. Some people mistake the expression for anger, but I call it his resting dick face. He flips me off anytime I say that.

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