Page 26 of Never To Suffer

“Talk to me, Xander. Is it the trip? The new guy? Our contest? Tokyo? What has that big, nerdy brain of yours working so hard before you’ve had your bean water?”

“None of the above.” He presses his forehead to mine and I swear this boy can see into my soul when he stares at me like this. “Well, sort of? What if this guy sucks? What if he gets you knocked out of the whole thing while I’m a million miles away? What happens then?” He shakes his head and lowers his eyes until they hide behind his long, thick lashes.

“There’s always next year?” I shrug, trying to play it off like it’s not weighing on my mind. I've had nightmares about it and we’re all freaking out, but we can’t change it. Everyone we found had schedule conflicts, wanted way more of the cut, or couldn’t learn the music fast enough. It’s a huge ask for little reward for the first few months. It wouldn’t surprise me if we lose bands along the way because of schedules and daytime jobs, and I’m betting NotOkay Records hopes that will weed some people out well before the world tour part becomes reality.

“You guys are way too good to wait for next year.”

“Yeah, well, what do you think I should do about it? Did you miraculously learn to play the bass after plugging yourself into the Matrix last night or something?”

“No. But our little game last night got me thinking, and Beetle? I think we should contact them.”

I’d been thinking about that, too. But that nagging bitch of a voice in the back of my head keeps telling me I don’t need that extra pain and stress right now. They left because they didn’t care enough to be with us. We weren’t enough to make it work. All lies I’ve gotten used to telling myself. “That won’t work, Xan. They’ve got a new life now.”

“Do they? They didn’t go to Europe or something exotic and exciting like that. They didn’t. Come on, we’re single again! Andwe’ve got our own place that isn’t a shithole. Enough time has passed to?—”

“Has it? Where would they stay? What would they do?” I ask, worry creeping up my spine and wrapping around my brain.

“Yeah, it has. They can live with us; give this the chance it deserves. The chance we all want to take. We do, don’t we?” His eyebrows jump up and down right before he tickles me, making me squirm right off his lap. He shifts on top of me, caging me in between his arms. “It’s a clean slate, and we’ve given it years to settle out of our systems. It hasn’t. Not for me, and not for you, either. They are the answer to so many of our questions, and frankly, the band’s problem.”

“We’d be suffocating to them. They wouldn’t answer if I called,” I mumble, rocking my head back. “I mean, who’s saying they ever picked the bass up again? Besides, how are you so sure they’re not backpacking through Europe?”

“They’re not, okay. Believe me.”

“Why should I believe you?” His eyes dart around because I busted him with a hand deep inside the cookie jar. “Have you talked to Skylar since they left? Am I seriously the only one who hasn’t?!”

He drops his head, kissing his way up my neck, trying to keep me calm by turning me on. It's his favorite way to deal with things when I’m stressed out, and it’s kind of mine, too. His hand pushes between my legs, shifting my panties to the side. He’s gentler today, with soft touches and light strokes since I’m sore from last night’s thorough dicking down.

“Xander, I don’t have time to?—”

“Connor said twenty minutes before he’s here. Maybe more.” He hums against my ear, shifting me so I straddle him. “As for Sky, no. My texts have gone unanswered, but I still text them every few weeks.” His eyes flutter and close while he rocksme on his lap. “Beetle, imagine it! The three of us? Fucking unstoppable.”

“Yeah, we would be fucking unstoppable, in that we’d not stop screwing long enough to get anything done.”

“We can make it work, Dani. The three of us.” He caresses my face with one hand, his eyes begging me as his other hand makes it hard for me to concentrate. “We’d take such good care of you, Beetle. Our perfect punk princess. Worshiping you night and day, giving ourselves to you in ever way possible. Imagine waking up every morning to our mouths all over your body.”

“Xander, I don’t?—”

“I want to take care of you, Dani. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Oh, honeybee, I get it,” I reach up, taking his glasses off. They’re like him, damaged enough. “Xander, I’d love that dream as much as you, but we can’t get our hopes up like that. It’s a dream, and we need to respect that. We can’t…we can’t keep waiting for them and the hope they’ll decide to come back.”

“Can’t we?”

“And if they’re playing again? What? They join the band and you’re alone again.” I pull his face to mine, his soft lips brushing mine as we share a breath. “I want you to be happy, Xander. I hate when you’re alone, and I’ll hate it more if Skylar travels with me instead of being here with you.”

“I’ll be okay, like now. I’ll wait for you by the door like a dog, waiting for his people.” He grips my hips hard, rocking me back and forth as our breathing speeds up. I listen to his soft cries that come when I run my nails over his skin and soak his cock through his boxers. “We’d find a way. We always do. We always will.”

“Okay,” I give in and am rewarded with a broad, toothy smile. “I’ll text them, but I won’t harass them. Now, would you stop fantasizing about Skylar Beck’s giant cock and use yours already? I’ve only got like ten minutes now!”

“Connor will wait. There’s no band without you. And I haven’t had my breakfast yet.” He cups my face as we crash together and I glide against him, the pressure in me building like a steam train. He moves, laying me on the floor and trailing his tongue down my body. I don’t fight when he pulls my sweats down and buries his face between my thighs, because there’s no point. I need this.

Like he said, Connor will wait. I’m the lead singer.

CHAPTER 13

CUNTISSIMO

MARINA

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