Page 37 of Never To Suffer

I don’t know if he means we should sit on it, or fuck, so I keep my distance as lower myself to the edge of the cushion. It’s comfortable. More comfortable than I am right now, anyhow.

“So, uh, you live next door? Or did I catch you doing a late morning walk of shame?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me. “Not that it’s a bad thing, man, but I wouldn’t trust whoever let you out of your bed if that’s the case.”

“What?!” I squeak out before I clear my throat and try again. “No. I mean yeah. Yeah, I uhm, I live next door. No walk of shame. No one…in my…bed.”

“No one? That’s good to know.” He winks and takes a long swig from the bottle. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he drinks half the bottle before he stops. “Shit, guess I worked up a thirst. So, what do you do? Are you like a professor or something because that’s the vibe you're giving off?”

“I do?” My head drops to assess my outfit. He’s right.

“Oh, come on. There’s gotta be some fine young student or assistant to keep you company on those lonely Los Angeles nights?”

“Only, uhh, it’s only me and my cat. She’s pretty much the boss.” Did that sound too desperate? Why did I even bring the cat into this? It’s not common for me to fumble my words like that, I haven’t done it in years. Not since my first trip to Paris, the day I mether. Between my brain firing off warning flares and the beat my heart hammers out, I can’t focus. He licks his lips, and the butterflies join the parade.

“I like cats. They’re soft and warm if you treat ‘em right.” There’s an edge to his voice, inviting but dangerous. He stares at me while finishing his beer, and doesn’t stop staring as he moves closer, leaning over me with a nonchalance that’s got my cock straining against my pants. “I like dogs, too, Theo. Little rougher around the edges, a little more bite to ‘em.”

He sets the bottle on a cardboard box while I pretend to be a marble statue.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Theo?” The shake of my head starts slow, but the desperate need to grab his face and pull him to me speeds up the motion until I’m seeing double. “Good. Because I do intend those puns and the innuendo, if you’re wondering. So, I guess what I’m asking, Theo, do you like dogs? Or are you a cats only kind of guy?”

“I—I like…what?” He’s still leaning over me, and I can’t hear over the blood rushing through my ears. He’s so close now I can feel the heat coming off his body and the scent of his cologne massaging my brain. It has hints of something citrus—bergamot? I gasp when his hand slides over mine, taking my bottle. He licks around the mouth of the bottle and tilts his head back, pouring the amber liquid into his mouth until it’s empty. I’ve never been so parched. I’m failing this test of my willpower.

What a fucking rollercoaster of a day. I’m not worrying about Paris anymore. I don’t remember the bare cabinets and empty fridge. My brain refuses to focus on anything that isn’t Xander. There could be a circus car of killer clowns piling into the apartment, honking their horns and slashing the air with their knives, and I still wouldn’t be able to turn away from this guy.

His thumb grazes my chin and I’m pretty sure I get what he’s about to do. The moment I decide I won’t fight his advances; he swallows the beer. I swallow a mouthful of dry air and try to think of anything but his mouth, his lips, his tongue. I’m failing.

“Y-you…you said you have a girlfriend, yeah?”

“Uh huh. She left for Portland a few days ago. Guess I’m all alone, too.” His hand moves to my knee before sliding up my thigh. “We’ve got something of an open relationship. We both like to play, and that’s why I asked if you likeddogs,Mr. Clay.”

“D-doctor. Actually.”

“Oh, even fucking better. So, tell me, how’d you like me to help you out with that tent in your pants?” I nod, my chest heaving, out of my control like the rest of me. “Gimme words. Tell me you wanna play doctor, Doctor.”

“Yes. Yes, I like dogs and I… I wanna…play.”

“Good, because I wanna play, too.”

There’s no hesitation when I grab his face and bring it to mine. There’s also no grace or delicate touches. It’s raw. He’s itching a primal need that’s been begging to be scratched for too long. I pick him up and pull him onto my lap and he rides me like a bucking bull, not caring that we’re both still at least partially clothed. Doubt creeps in, but he doesn’t give it time to settle, pulling my face back to his and moving his hips harder and faster.

“Oh fuck! Slow…slow down.”

“I got a better idea, Doctor. Take off your pants.”

CHAPTER 18

CLOSER

NIKI BARR BAND

We fumblewith the lock on the door, and stumble inside, kicking the door shut behind us. My hands are on her face, unwilling to let go, and hers lock into fists full of my shirt. I’ve waited years thinking this would never happen. I’d never have another chance to make things right, make them work. I’ve begged every goddess and god, pleaded with the universe, and asked the devil himself for this, for her.

We break for air, but can’t keep our mouths off each other, gasping in choppy breaths as I push against her and her leg wraps around mine. My fingers finally move, sliding down her body, unable to break contact until they’re cupping her ass and lifting her off the ground as she lets go of the softest whimper. Which only adds fuel to the already out-of-control fire inside me.

“Tell me you want this, Dani. Tell me you want me.”

“I can’t!” she whines. I pull back and stare down at her, swallowing hard and waiting for the next jab of the blade to my heart. “I can’t tell you I want you, because it’s not that Iwantyou, Skylar. That’s not strong enough. Ineedyou. The world isn’t right when you’re not in it with us.”

“Beetle, I don’t want to do this to you. Not again.”

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