Page 44 of Never To Suffer

“I was born with—” She smacks my arm, and I pull her back to me, deep laughter coming out of me. Gods, it feels good. “The first piercing was, I dunno, about a month after I left. Once that healed, I got the other bar done. The ladder I did right before I went into rehab. The three times I hit my lowest lows, and I wasn’t sure I could still feel anything anymore. I needed to prove to myself I could feel more than numb; like I needed the pain to remind me I was alive.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

“You’re fine. They were cathartic in ways, like that high you get from a new tattoo.” She picks up my hand, tracing my death's head moth again as she listens. “They say the ladder works for self-pleasure, and the cross gives more gratification to your partners. I liked the sound of that, and the sounds you make when I’m inside you.”

She kisses me, and I lift her off my lap and step out the door so I don’t stink the room up. I like how it smells right now, the sweetness of her perfume mixing with the musky smell of sweat and sex. I don’t notice she’s staring at me because I’m lost in the landscape of puddled gravel lots and soggy trees. Not that I see them. I’m too busy remembering how everything felt last night and pushing the painful nightmare away. I want to feel like I did earlier, like a new person, re-birthed into this world to experience life and all its pain and bliss again.

She steps in front of me and undoes my towel, and it pools at our feet. “They are correct. Whoevertheyare.”

“Glad you like them.” She’s not touching me, only studying, and that’s getting me hard again. Stepping forward, her body presses against mine as her fingers trace around the metal pieces.

“We should get dressed and go get breakfast soon.” She mumbles the words against my chest as I light up and suck in that first kick of nicotine. My knees buckle every time her fingertips dance along the head of my cock, exploring the piercings. “We can go back to the diner and make sure your motorcycle hasn’t run off with some hot mustang or something.”

“Or we can slip Connor a twenty and have him bring something back for you so we don’t have to leave the room.”

“Skylar, I was serious earlier.”

“About what?”

“Us. About starting out this way.” She steps back to stare up at me. She’s not especially short, but most of the world seems short when you’re 6’6”. I brush her face with my knuckles and do my best to smile, the nightmare still too fresh even after our release.

“Skylar, you said you wanted to be with me, and I want to be with you too. I want this to have a chance, and it’s going to be rough for a while getting used to it, getting used to each other like this. But if you’re going to start off by keeping secrets, we should stop this before it gets started?”

I close my eyes and drop my head. “You’re right.”

“So, what did you see? You can be super vague if you’re uncomfortable, but it’s me.”

I take another drag and watch out over the trees again. “I have nightmares about the accident. I don’t remember much when I wake up, although today I held onto a little. Being with you might bring some of that back.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I keep putting my stupid foot in my mouth and I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?”

“No! No, it’s okay.” I take her face again, thumb brushing over her lips. I can’t get enough of her. “I can handle it. Especially when you’re here, my fallen angel in your black wings.”

“Are you making fun of my makeup? Because I’d like to remind you that was all your fault. I said I needed to get ready for bed and you said, and I will quote you here, ‘I’ve waited long enough to be inside you, I won’t wait any longer.’ So yeah, your fault.”

“I wasn’t making fun of anything. I kind of dig the look, honestly. It’s dirty and raw. You should keep it like this for breakfast so I can sneak off to the bathroom with you and have a little snack before pancakes.”

“You officially have a higher sex drive than Xander. Insane.”

“Did you call him?” I rumble into her ear.

“Is that a problem? Because you knew going into this, he was?—”

“Shhh, Beetle. We’re okay. I understand what it means to want you, and I meant it when I said I want every part of you. The two of you are intertwined souls. It’s why every time you try to pull away from each other, you both come screaming back together from the void. When I say I want you, I’m a greedy fucking bastard. I’ve been too stupid to realize it until I saw you again in that parking lot. I swore I pined for LA, for what I’d lost. But I was mourning the loss of you. Dani, it’s always been you. All of you. Both of you.”

She starts to speak, but squeals as I lift her up and turn her around, pressing her against the sliding door. A growl from somewhere deep inside me comes out as I lean over and suck on her neck, leaving a few more marks across her brown skin. Everything about her is a beautiful mess, from her streaked eyeliner and wild hair to the fading bite marks on the back of her legs. “He was okay with this, right?”

“If he wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here with you.” Her sharp inhale matches the hissing sound I make as I suck in a breath and push deep into her warmth. My hand drops from her stomach, slipping between her legs to play with her clit. “Are you thinking of him while you’re fucking me right now?”

“What if I am?” I’m thinking about them both and writing their names against her clit. If anyone walked through the back parking lot, they’d have a perfect view of my ass, but I wish I had a camera set up in the bedroom. Dani’s tits pressed against the glass as she bounces on her toes in time with my thrusts. “What if I’m thinking about both of us inside you? He and I could have a little competition over who could make you come the most. Loser bottoms.”

“Oh, shit… I … Oh fuck. Oh, Skylar!” Her moan fogs the glass seconds before her body makes the whole door rattle. I don’t stop though, my fingers still strumming her as I hold her up.

“One more time, baby. But this time, you say his name while I fill you. I can’t fucking wait to watch him inside you. Watch you take his fat cock like a good little girl.”

Someday, we’ll record the melody of her shouting his name and my moans to use as a backdrop for a song, or for me to jerk off to later. When I let her go, she walks back in the room ahead of me, a little wobble to her step, and gives me a show when she bends over to get her phone. I run a washcloth under the warm water and walk over to clean the mess I made of her, even if I don’t want to. “Come here, I want to send him a picture to wake up to!”

“You should have sent him a video of what we just did.”

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