Page 51 of Never To Suffer

And he’s single…. Wink wink.

Oh thanks, that’s not…awkward!

And who types out wink wink?! Psychos! That’s who!

Melodious

You’re such a dick. Love you, kiddo.

Yeah, cause you have to. See you soon?

Melodious

As soon as I can get free. Your idiot father has me in about 200 meetings.

He was your idiot brother first. See you when I see you.

I climb into the car and get comfortable as the driver loads the bags in. I didn’t bring much, so they must be getting Dad’s, too. While they’re busy, I pull up the website and check my stats. Fifteen news subscribers, not bad since I haven’t posted in a week. I need to do more, though, so we can all be covered financially while Dani and Skylar travel. Japan and a stupidlyexpensive hotel room should give me something to work with, a change of background scenery at least. Maybe more.

I close the app and open a browser, searching for tips on increasing my revenue and how to make money faster. The ways I’ve found, the legal ones anyhow, go way past my comfort level. I type out an update for a hookup or five while I’m here in Japan, but I delete it. Adding instead that I’m dropping the in person meet ups, which will piss off a few people, possibly some here in Tokyo. But after spending the night with Theo, and knowing I’m coming home to Dani and Skylar, too, that’s enough for me. Solo stuff from now on.

I deserve better.

Maybe I can get Skylar to do a POV I could post to make up for it. They’ll be down for some on camera fun. Maybe Theo would be up for stuff like that, too. I can blur their faces, although with all those tats, I don’t think Skylar will ever be unrecognizable. The reality that I’m off the meetup market is like a boulder being lifted off of me given how they usually end. Someday, I’ll be able to tell Theo I stopped because of him, but I’ve got to dance around a few things before I start dropping all these bombs about the guy he hooked up with.

Skylar sure as hell will, but I’m used to that. We’re like an emotional see-saw. When they’re up, I’m down and vice versa. I don’t cry often, but I bawled like a baby around both Theo and Skylar. I hate sounding cliche, but last night opened my eyes even though it’s the same shit Dani’s been trying to tell me for years. Accepting I’m worthy of respect and love from men and getting to love them back? Foreign concept. Boarding schools can be like that for kids like me, messing with our heads and brainwashing us into touch-deprived perfect little Richie Rich replicas.

“Sorry for the delay, sir. We’ll be headed out shortly.” Oliver says as he joins me in the back, straightening his jacket and tie once he’s in. I’m asleep again before the car starts rolling.

A bump in the road wakes me up to the bright lights of the city. I stare across the way and find Oliver staring at me, stiff as a board. “Oli, if we’re about to spend the better part of a month together, I’m gonna need you to loosen up a bit for me. Loosen the tie…and the leash.” He’s got that pale complexion that lights up like a forest fire when he blushes. It’s a damn good thing I’m changing my ways, or Oli would be in for a world of eye-opening experiences. Many of them are right here in this limo.

“Yes, sir?—”

“See, that right there. I’m just a dude, so don’t call me sir. Only my girlfriend calls me sir, and that’s only when we’re role playing.”

He stares at his feet, shifting them awkwardly. “What, uhm, what do your, uhm, your male partners call you?”

“Male partners?” His head snaps up, and I catch that look in his eye. He thinks he’s wrong, that I’m not bisexual. Maybe he heard that from my aunt, who he now thinks lied to him. I can make out the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “Boyfriends, Oli.”

“Oh, right, yes? Boyfriends.”

The crooked smile that spreads over my face is genuine as the reality spreads through my body. A few nights ago, I would have scoffed and said they DO call me sir, trying to play a game with him while hiding that they call me the worst things they can think of. Now I have an answer, and it’s one I want to share.

“He calls mebaby.”

CHAPTER 23

WHERE IS MY MIND?

PIXIES

The idea sounded sogood when it popped into my head. Simple, and really a no brainer. Dani needed a bassist, and I am a bassist. I forgot to factor in that I haven’t been on stage or in front of any kind of audience in years, and I don’t know if my hand will make it through an entire set. I roll my neck, and lean into the mirror so I get the eye liner right. When I’m done, I lean back, and it’s like looking in a time machine. One look at myself and the doubt gives way to youthful rebellion and the misguided belief that I’m invincible. I missed that feeling, and right now, it’s like welcoming an old friend.

“Hey, you almost ready to go?” Connor pops his head in to check on me.

“Yeah. Oh, hey, Connor? Can I talk to you real quick?”

“Where have you two been?” Dani asks as I round the corner a few minutes later. “Oh. My. God.”

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