Page 83 of Never To Suffer

“Shit, I remember that!” Xander says, leaning back on the couch and running his hands through his hair. “So, when I was, uhm, gone, did you two…you know? Did you hook up?”

“No. We came close. At a bar a few weeks ago. He definitely rubbed his dick against me a few times, but you were all he wanted. Thousands of miles away and still a cockblock, Xander!”

“I didn’t know?!” Xander yells back, hitting me with a pillow.

Theo shakes his head and disappears around the corner and into the kitchen. I wait a few minutes before following him out there and I find him drying the dishes and stacking them up. “You didn’t need to do all this, you know. But I do need to thank you. For taking care of Xander when he needed someone he could trust.”

“Don’t thank me, Dani. Things are…complicated.”

“We’re…not okay, are we?” Xander asks as he joins us, his sad puppy face back. Theo’s heavy sigh speaks volumes, and I listen to Xander’s heart shatter into a million pieces as his bottom lip quivers.

“Baby,” Theo starts, but stops himself.

“I understand,” Xander says, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and backing up against Skylar. “Thanks, Theo. For, well, for everything. I’m sorry I couldn’t?—”

My heart breaks and I remember that saying, how some people are only meant to be in your life for a short time and those people make the biggest impacts. Or however it goes. Iused to think that would be Skylar for us, a flash in the pan we couldn’t replicate no matter how hard we tried.

“No! You two can’t break up!” I yell, looking between the pair.

Theo steps forward and puts a hand on Xander’s shoulder. “You have a long road in front of you, Xander. Even without me there with you, you won’t walk it alone. Look around the room. You’ve got your support system. You’re the Tin Man, on his way to Oz so someone can fix your broken heart. Dorothy and the brave Lion by your side every step of the way. You’ll make it, baby. I know you will.”

“Isn’t that a little too on the nose?” Skylar asks. Theo looks up at them, and Skylar’s arms wrap around Xander protectively. “Because if that’s the narrative you’re going for, it sure as hell explains things. Like why you’d leave him.”

Xander starts to argue, but it’s too late because I’m jumping on this bandwagon. “You’re right, Skylar. By the Doc’s own logic, that makes him the Scarecrow, dancing around like a moron with no brain and running away from the three people sent here to help. Three people who live right next door.”

“I’m not the one who?—”

“Oh, if Doctor Dark-and-Broody wants to tell me he doesn’t need help, I’m gonna lose my shit laughing.” I walk over, stepping into the space between Xander and Theo, glaring up at him while I poke my finger into his chest. “You cried for him, Theo. You said it yourself at the bar after we danced. You told me you wanted me that night, but you weren’t ready to give up on the guy you’d only just met. Xander, right? It had to be.”

“Yes, but?—”

“Why are you running?” I question him in a harsh tone.

“I’m not the scarecrow and I’m not running! I’m—” he sputters.

“Oh, you’re the man behind the curtain. The architect of the house of lies? Maybe your daughter had it right when she bailed on you so you could have your little pity party and wear your emerald glasses to see the LA skyline?”

“What?” Xander’s voice comes out as barely a whisper, and I bite my lip. He didn’t know about Theo’s daughter.

Sky lets go of Xander with one hand, holding it out to Theo. “I’m Skylar, and I’m idiotically in love with these two people. I’m the only one you haven’t made out with, so I’m a bit of the odd one out. Maybe that’s your problem right now. Me.” They wink at him and kiss Xander on the head before pulling on their jacket. “But I’m also out of cigarettes. So, I’m going to take a walk and give you an opportunity to un-fuck this a bit. I’d appreciate it if you’d stay here and help our Beetle take care of our Bee. Figure things out if you can, because something tells me your analogy isn’t far off. If that’s the case, we’ve all got a long, winding road ahead of us, and we’re going to need all four of us to get through.”

“Are we getting a dog?” I ask nibbling on another croissant to keep me from any more outbursts.

“He has a cat,” Xander mumbles.

Theo chuckles, shaking Skylar’s hand. “I’ll do my best to be here when you get back.”

Theo and I both reach out and take one of Xander’s hands, leading him back to the couch. His face paler than usual, and he’s spiraling. I’ve seen it before. It reminds me of Coop, and how he taught me what to do when Xander goes so deep into his own mind it’s like he’s not even here in the room with me. But before I can start the routine, Theo beats me to it.

“Xander, I need you to listen to my voice,” he says, squatting in front of Xander and putting his hands on his knees. “Focus on that for right now, nothing else, alright? We’re going to work through this together. Okay?”

Xander nods absently and I squeeze his hand before I brush his hair out of his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t?—”

“Stop, you’re not the one to blame. Let’s start with the basics. Can you tell me five things you can see right now?”

His eyes stay down, unmoving for the longest time, and the seed of panic growing in me. He’s gotten like this before a few times, after his ‘dates’ come close to putting him in the hospital. He’s gone days where he refuses to leave the bed and stares at the wall until I force him to eat something and drink water. I watch the slightest movement in his eyes.

“That’s it, honeybee. Take your time.”

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