Page 14 of Desperate Temptations

He lets out a small laugh before looking back at me. “Fuck, man. This is more awkward than last night. Uhm. I would say it was mostly you, unless you want to count some porn.”

I crack a smile and shrug. “Anything counts if you want it to. I think it’s pretty natural to be bi-curious. Sometimes I still find women I’m insanely attracted to and take a chance.”

“Really? You never really tell me about them.” Ethan stares at me in shock.

I shrug again. “I knew Lynds didn’t appreciate hearing about myadventuresas she put it. So I kept it to a minimum.”

He frowns, his jaw flexing as he clenches his teeth. “I never realized how much of a fucking bitch she was.”

“I think that’s the point when you love someone. You’re kind of oblivious to their flaws.”

His eyes study my face. “You ever been in love?”

My heart shudders and I look away, my tongue dragging over my lips. “Uh… I don’t know. I thought I was, but I don’t know.”

“I didn’t know that. What happened?”

I shrug, swallowing down a laugh. “They were in love with someone else.”

Ethan is quiet for a few moments before he clears his throat. “Did you mean what you said last night?”

“What part?” I ask, my stomach twisting with nerves

His cheeks grow a little pink. “About me. That you’ve had thoughts about doing things.”

I look away from him, clenching my jaw and running a hand through my hair. “Why?” I finally say. I wasn’t ready to admit that, unless I knew why he wanted to know.

Ethan shifts where he’s seated and sighs. “I think I want it too.”

My head snaps to him, studying his embarrassed face. “You think?”

“Yeah, I think. I don’t know, Trent. That’s all I can say. That last night when you were saying all that shit, it made me really fucking hard, okay?”

Nerves course through me and I steady my breathing. “So what? You want to… like mess around? Friends with benefits kind of thing?”

Ethan swallows harshly, his head tilts back as he stares at the ceiling. I wait the few moments he takes to respond.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re all I have left.”

My heart squeezes tightly in my chest as I try to decipher what he’s trying to say without saying.

I clear my throat. “You’d never lose me.”

He looks over at me. “Even if after… I don’t want anything more?”

“Even then,” I say, nodding slowly.

He probably doesn’t believe me, but it’s true. It’d probably be a little awkward at first, but I’m confident we’d work through it. Ethan and I have been at each other’s sides since we were kids. If I can put up with his witch of a wife, then he can work through the tense ground after the end of a situationship.

“I get it. You just want to release some tension, right? Not looking for anything serious?”

Ethan’s eyes shift over my face, his eyebrows furrowing a bit. He doesn’t answer and I turn my attention to the window, overlooking the city. We sit like that for a while and he pushes off the bed.

“I’m thinking of getting some lunch. Wanna come with or you want me to bring you something back?”

My shoulders rise and fall. “Whatever you want.”

He blows out a shaky breath. “I don’t know what I want.”

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