Page 46 of My Office Rival

I made a face at him and drank some of the mediocre wine. “Whatever. Let me be impressed. Where did you learn?”

He shrugged, but his shoulders were tense. “I taught myself. I needed to. I had no money in college or law school, and cooking was the only way to get by. It was hard at the beginning. I must have made a hundred fancy ramen dinners before I figured out that rice and beans and protein were so much more cost effective and filling.” He shook his head. “I burned so many pieces of chicken. I once set my fire alarm off trying to roast something while I was in the shower. The fire department came, and I was only in a towel.”

I smirked, and he smiled back. “I would have enjoyed that.” Not least because of the image of him in a towel.

“I bet you would have, you psycho. You like to watch me struggle.”

“That I do,” I said happily. “So you taught yourself how to cook, put yourself through college and law school, and now you’re one of the top mergers and acquisitions lawyers in New York City? Where are your flaws?”

He looked down. “Believe me, I have too many to count.”

Not from where I’m sitting.From here, it looked like he was utterly alone, but still on top of the world. My respect for him grew despite myself.

He chewed in silence and took a sip of his wine before he lookedup. The pain in his eyes nearly knocked the wind out of me. Suddenly, I realized this was the real him. The cold man in the conference room was one facet, the teasing playboy was another, but this was a carefully hidden part. The tortured soul. The one who thought he had more flaws than he could count.

“What happened last night?” I asked. His head jerked back, those lake-blue eyes wide. “I meant, at the bar. Sorry.” I reddened. “It seemed like I said something that upset you. If so, I apologize.”

“Oh, that.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry for being a dick to you yesterday.” He said the words simply, and I waited.Brave, beautiful man. “The bar reminded me of some really dark times in my life and I was…very on edge.”

“That’s putting it mildly. Why did you shut down like that?”

“Fair enough. I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” His jaw worked and his gaze grew distant. “It’s hard for me to be here, in the country. I grew up in towns just like this, but my childhood wasn’t pleasant. I learned to play pool because I had to, slung beers because I needed the money, and taught myself to cook because no one else was there to teach me.”

I pictured a small boy with big blue eyes and dirty clothes and clenched my hand. It felt like a stack of books had been dropped on my chest, but I didn’t react. He didn’t want my pity.

“I’m trying to be…normal.” He spoke slowly now, appearing to choose his words carefully. “But sometimes I see something or I hear something…and I’m right back to where it all started. Why do you think I live in the city?”

“I get it.” I sipped my wine while I processed.How to show him I didn’t judge him?“Next time just tell me to F off though, or something. I can handle it, Jason. I’m a big girl.” I gave him a meaningful look, and his eyes went wide before he laughed.

“Yeah. I guess you are.”

“I’m not scared of your demons. Besides, I have plenty of my own.”

“Yeah?” He looked eager to stop talking about himself. “Like what?”

I twirled the wineglass awkwardly in my hands. “Take your pick. You know about my failed job hunt. You know Brett is making my life hell.” I blew out a breath and avoided his gaze. “I can’t help thinking I’ve messed it all up. I feel like a Tasmanian devil sometimes. Or a rat on a treadmill in some sick experiment. Just going and going and never getting anywhere.” I finally met his eyes, and they were warm, sympathetic. His mouth was soft, kissable.Don’t even think about it.

“I understand.” He considered me. “Do you have a game plan? You can’t keep going like this. Not forever.”

“No. Not even close.”If only.I’d love to see just a glimpse of my future. To know if I should stay at the firm or try to follow my dreams. To know if it were possible to succeed doing something else, or if I’d fail miserably.

“I think what you need is a break.”

“Don’t talk to me about breaks, Mr. four hours of sleep a night,” I grumbled. “You just want me weak and soft for tomorrow.” When we’d be back in that conference room, back to being rivals.

“You’re not weak.”

I looked up at those warm blue eyes, and I wanted to drown in them. To drown inhim.To finally stop thinking and doing and planning and justbe.And a break sounded really fucking good. But I couldn’t.

“Maybe next weekend,” I said. “I still need to crush you this week.”

He leaned forward and grinned. “Not if I crush you first.”

My breath caught and my heart jack hammered.Like he did last night.When his hand had been hot on my hip and his mouth incendiary. When we’d just barely wrenched ourselves apart.

I want more. I want more of him.That look on his face said he wanted it too. I drained my wineglass and stood on shaky legs. “I’m going to shower.”

I wanted to run from the room, but I forced myself to walk, knowing his eyes were following me the entire way.

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