Page 76 of My Office Rival

He grimaced. “I like pretending that this isn’t about to blow up in our faces. Can I have one more night?”

I liked it too. I liked playing house with him and spending weekends with him, and that was all going to end. Right before my career blew up.

I sighed. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Whateverthisis.” I blushed a little. “I like spending time with you.”

“The color of your face indicates that you arenotpleased about admitting that,” he teased. Those blue eyes danced with glee, but a soft smile played on his lips. “But yeah, it’s been nice. Especially with everything else going to hell around us.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” he continued, “but if you ever settled down, what would that look like?” His question was casual, but I tensed.

It would probably look a hell of a lot like this.And for some reason, I couldn’t picture another man in Jason’s seat. When I imagined coming home from a long day of work, I imaginedhimopening the door. I swallowed.

“Honestly, I hadn’t given much thought to it.” That was true, at least. “I never let myself want something I can’t have.”

“Can’t have?” He sat back and sipped his wine. “Why do you say that?”

I don’t see you offering.My throat tightened. “There have always been too many obstacles. It’s so easy to get ‘mommy-tracked’ at the firm. As soon as you get married, they start gossiping about how you’ll be pregnant and not able to work those sixteen-hour days anymore. And it’s hard to find someone who understands this life.” I shrugged, even though all I felt was an ache in my chest. “It just seemed silly to dream about something that probably won’t happen for me.”

I looked up and met those blue, blue eyes. They were soft, shadowed, his soft mouth pressed in a line. “But if you could have it? Would you want it?” His question was low, urgent.

I inhaled deeply for courage. “Yes, yes, I would.”

He nodded thoughtfully and let the subject drop.Thank fuck.We chewed in silence for a minute until I cleared my throat.

“I know you want one more night of normalcy, but I just think we need to do a little more digging before we go to the partners. Let’s see what else we can find tomorrow at the office and then take it from there?” The thought of going to Gerald with this was horrifying.

“I’m tempted to rip this off like a Band-Aid tomorrow morning, but I know that anything less than definitive proof is going to make our partners even madder.” He speared a hand through his hair. “The whole thing makes me feel a little ill.”

I winced. “This is going to be unpleasant either way we slice it. I’d rather look thoughtful instead of paranoid. And in any case, we might not find anything.” I shrugged.

“You’re being awfully nonchalant. I know how worried you are,” Jason said quietly.

I looked up to see him regarding me steadily, swirling his wine. “I’m trying not to think about getting fired. I’m not sure if it’s working.” I took a hearty swallow of wine. “Gerald is not known for being reasonable. There’s a fair chance he fires me on the spot.” My stomach knotted.

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Not helpful, Jason. This is pretty much it.”

“I’m serious. This is a real technique. I learned it in therapy. I told you I was fucked up.” He winked, and I sighed.

I held his gaze as anxiety tightened my throat. The blue of his eyes anchored me, like staring out at the ocean. I took a deep breath. “Okay, well, worst case is I get fired tomorrow and I don’t have another job.”

He gave a short nod. “But you have savings. And you’ll get another job quickly. Hell, I’d recommend you in a heartbeat to come to my firm.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” I smiled at him, grateful for his quiet support.

“And then what? You help your family, right? What happens to them?” He didn’t let up. This was the hard part.

I bit my lip as I considered. His thick lashes swept down and up again. “Realistically, they’ll be fine.” It was the truth. “Devon will get by. My parents can figure out what to do with my father’s slipped disk. I have the money to help them now if they need it, anyway. I don’t need a job for that. And…I shoulder a lot of things because Ican,not because Ihave to.” I took another deep breath. Saying those words felt good. Jason’s lips tilted up on one side.

“What if you were a little more selfish?” His eyes were warm, and I leaned in toward him. They were melting me, softening me around the edges, drawing me to him.

“You mean like I am here?” With him. When he demanded that I take things for myself, when he forced me to accept his support.Just how I forced him to accept mine.

“Yes. Exactly like that,” he said vehemently.

“I’m not really like that. I mean, I am in small ways. I buy the shoes I want, I take the vacations I like. I know how to do self-care. But big picture?” I shrugged helplessly. Why didn’t I do more for myself? Why couldn’t I take a job I really loved?

“Big picture is what matters most.” His eyes were hot on mine, and he sounded almostangryfor me. “Think about it. For me.”

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