Page 82 of My Office Rival

I knew it in my brain, but my body wouldn’t respond. I drove with ruthless focus, hands tight on the wheel, jaw clenched. Turn, thenstraight, then the driveway, up the stairs, until we were inside and the door was bolted and I could finally, finally, breathe.

I sucked in great, gasping lungfuls of air as I leaned against the front door.

“Jason.” Cynthia’s brows were drawn as she approached me. “It’s okay.”

I nodded, helpless, shuddering. I’d be all right. This was PTSD. I hadn’t felt it in a long, long time.

Cynthia edged closer, wary. “It’s okay,” she murmured, before one quick movement had her throwing her arms around my waist and pressing her face against my chest. “It’s okay. It’s okay. No one is following.” She repeated the words as she ran her hand over my back.

My heart still thudded in my chest, the adrenaline still made my legs shake, but I could feel the panic ebbing. I closed my eyes and let my forehead meet hers. Her riotous curls tickled my cheek, and her warm scent filled my nose. Hugging her felt like coming home.

Minutes passed, and she didn’t move. I focused on the warm weight of her, how neatly she fit against me. Slowly, the adrenaline drained.

“Thank you,” I said into her hair. “It hasn’t been that bad in a long time.”

She pulled back to meet my eyes. “What hasn’t?”

I sighed as she relaxed back into me. “The PTSD. From when I left. I spent a lot of time driving, looking in the rearview mirror, hiding from bad people. Today brought that all roaring back.” I shifted, still uncomfortable sharing these pieces of myself.

Cynthia squeezed me more tightly in response.

Tell her.Tell her you’re obsessed with her.Would she take the leap with me? The words were on the tip of my tongue.

“So, do we call the partners now?” Cynthia’s question cut into my much more pleasant thoughts.

“Let’s wait. We need to leave. Pack your stuff. I’ll get us flights.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “Let’s do this.”

The clawing paniceased when we took off for New York and had mostly dissipated by the time we touched down. Cynthia had slept on my shoulder for most of the flight, and I had stayed stock-still in my seat for fear of waking her. Stock-still except for the wine and the groceries and the flowers I’d had delivered to my apartment.Tonight.I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to tell her how I felt.

And fuck, it felt good to pretend to be hers. To usher her through the airport with my hand on her back, to put her suitcase in the overhead bin for her.

“It feels good to be here,” I said. We were in the cab line, just a few people from the front.

“Happy to be back and anonymous?” Cynthia asked.

“Hell, yes. And glad we got away from Gene.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I guess I’ll tell Mitchell tonight about the deal. It’s only five p.m. And I’m worried about Gene going off half-cocked.”

She nodded, her eyes dark and a little sad. “Makes sense.”

“What’s wrong? Not glad to be back?”

“Not really.” Her mouth twisted. “I mean, yes, I love New York. I love coming home to it. But I liked how we were at the house too.” She looked down and fiddled with her suitcase handle. “It felt like a bubble. And now we’re back in the real world.”

And everything will change.She didn’t need to add.

“Come home with me,” I blurted. I’d wanted to ask her more eloquently to come over for dinner, but I hated how small and sad she looked, and I couldn’t let her go home like this. Her head jerked up. “I don’t want this to end either.”

She gave me a soft smile. “I would love that.”

51

JASON

“Iremember this elevator from our first night together .” Cynthia’s eyes danced as we waited for my floor.

“It’s a death trap,” I muttered. “Very few townhouses have them. I like to imagine that some Gilded Age family owned this place and needed the elevator installed to bring the champagne and caviar up from the kitchen. Speaking of.” I hefted the grocery bag that the delivery folks had left in the hallway. Mrs. Cooper downstairs would have let them in. She was always home on weekday evenings. “Dinner?”Dinner and then a confession.My heart lurched.

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