Page 104 of Of Flame and Fury

Yet… it made sense. The way he’d spoken about grief, how he’d understood what it was to love the dead and dying. But why would he have kept Estra a secret?

Slowly, the four other Howlers turned to Kel. Each of their expressions mirrored the next, brows raised, lips parted.

Eventually Dira broke the silence. “Kel, what are you talking about?”

“Me?” Kel threw back. “How do you all know this girl?”

“Thisgirl?” Bekn repeated. “Kel, you know Estra. You’ve told me that you like her more than me.”

Kel’s stomach dropped. “I’ve never met Estra, and a few minutes ago I thought none of you had either.”

The room, flooded with white light, seemed to flicker.

Kel met Coup’s eyes; she saw nothing but fear.

“Kel,” Dira said. “You remember Estra, right?”

Dira’s words were slow, enunciated. As if she was speaking to a child. Kel didn’t know what was going on, but they didn’t have the time to play games.

“Of course I remember her,” Kel lied, clutching the clothes tighter as dread pooled in her gut. “But that doesn’t change what we—”

“She’s lying,” Coup muttered. He stared at Kel. “You don’t remember her, do you?”

Kel struggled to breathe. Why were they all staring at her like that? They didn’t havetimefor this.

Coup exchanged a sharp look with his brother.

Slowly, Bekn said, “We met Estra in the dining hall, the first day we arrived. Though we didn’t know she was ill, then. She told us after a few weeks.”

Kel inched back. Something barbed fluttered in her stomach.

What was going on?

“She’s watched us practice on the training track,” Dira continued, her voice uncharacteristically shaky. “She fought with her dadto stop you from competing in the last race. She likes the same weird, old music that you do. She’s come to our weekly movie nights for the last month.”

They hadweekly movie nights? Kel flicked through the dusty tabs in her memory. Some words sent a soft wave of déjàvu through her, but most were alien, spoken in a language they’d created behind her back.

“You’re lying,” Kel spat. The trembling in her hands spread up her arms, wracking her body. “This is some cruel joke and you all—”

“She doesn’t remember her mother’s postcards, either,” Coup said in a low voice. “She thinks her mother hasn’t contacted her since she left Fieror.”

Dira let out a dry, humorless chuckle. “Kel, you complained about your mom every night that we spent in Savita’s aviary. Come on, you must remember.”

Kel backed away. The walls of the cell were so much smaller than they’d been minutes ago.

“Stop,” Kel barked. “Juststop.”

She wanted to hurt them. She wanted to cry. She hated how her friends—her family—were staring at her. Like she was a ghost brought to life.

“Kel,” Coup whispered.

She never thought her own name could break her heart.

“Short-term memory loss,” Coup went on, eyes glazed. “Tremors. Insomnia. Confusion. Paranoia. A short temper.”

All at once, Kel understood. She’d heard those words a thousand times. On the news, in hospital ads.

They weren’t just words.

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