Page 20 of The Games We Play

The car pulls up and I take a couple steps back toward it.

His body stiffens and his brows squeeze together, expressing a painful confusion. Like he’s dumbfounded I would feel this way. But how could I not?

Then my stupid heart flutters at the possibility that he’s hurting. That my words hurt him.

“What happened, happened,” I say, defeated. “We’re done, we can move on and it’s okay.”

It’s okay…the Mimi melody I play on repeat and theme song of my life.

Grabbing the handle of the passenger door, I swing it open and hop in, closing it swiftly behind me.

Seamus stands frozen in place as he watches me. His eyes find mine and they’re…broken, but there’s something behind the hurt. A drive, a desire, a need.

And it’s all too much.

I slam my eyes shut. It’s so fucking painful to look at him, to see him. After all this time, you’d think I’d be over it. That I wouldn’t care what happened between us, more importantly, what it ended up leading to. But somehow, all my old wounds are open again and fully exposed.

The car finally pulls away and my lungs decompress.

I rest the back of my head on the headrest as my Uber driver comes to a stop at the light.

Unable to stop myself, I turn and look out through the back window. Seamus is walking away from the restaurant with purpose, and down the row of cars parked on the street.

Reaching into his pocket, the lights flicker on one of the parked cars and he opens the driver’s side door and jumps in.

The light in front of us turns green, and my driver accelerates at a snail's pace.

“Um, excuse me, can you drive a little faster?” I squeak out.

“No way, lady, I do this for a living. I can’t get a ticket or pull someMission Impossiblecar driving stunt just to get you away from your broody boyfriend.” He glances back at me in therear view mirror and studies me for a moment. His eyes soften a bit. He doesn’t say anything, but I feel the car go a tad bit faster and it turns the corner, out of sight.

I stare out the window at the Seattle skyline, recalling the moment I saw all the towering, downtown buildings. I didn’t want to move here. I didn’t want to leave Texas where all my friends were, and experience my last year of high school in a brand new place.

Everything was so foreign, and it made everything hurt so much worse. I felt lonely, insecure, and the nightmares I had…I shake my head, attempting to clear my thoughts. My body inhales a deep breath, as if it were automated, needing a hefty dose of oxygen.

His presence is stirring up all the feelings I’ve spent years masking, and now I wonder if I ever reallytrulygot over everything or if they were just lying dormant.

Tomorrow is a new day.I tilt my chin up and silently pep talk myself. Something I’ve done my whole life, but I need it now more than ever.

What happened…happened.

That’s all I can say. That’s all I can do. It wasn’t his fault. Deep down, I know he didn’t cause what happened to me.

My getaway driver pulls up to the front of my house and I thank him, making sure to give him a tip on the app for going a few miles over his desired speed limit, and exit the car.

It’s cooled down substantially in the last twenty minutes, and I take in the humid but crisp air as I tilt my head toward the sky. It took a while to get used to when I first moved here, but now, one of my favorite things about this place is the weather.

Sure, the sun is great, and I love the feeling of the heat on my skin, but rain—the rain is cleansing. There is something special about being able to smell the rain coming.

Padding up the walkway, I take the two steps up onto my porch and dig in my purse to grab my keys, when a car pullsaround the corner into the cul-de-sac. I glance over my shoulder at the empty driveway of my neighbor and my heartbeat kicks up a notch.

Finally, I’ll get to meet him or her.

The headlights of the over-sized truck beam through my front yard as they turn into their driveway. Blinded for a moment, I squint and raise my hand to cover the flare of the light as it hits my pupils.

The truck stops and sits idle for a moment, and I decide that I’m not going to let them avoid me. I turn fully and stand at the top of my steps. A lone silhouette sits in the driver's seat, and it appears to be looking my way. There’s a brief pause when the engine finally shuts off, killing the lights with it, and the driver’s side door pops open.

A man steps out, and my breath catches in my throat as my brain registers everything in slow motion.

---