Page 107 of The Heart of Winter

Winter lightly scratched his chin. My eyes instinctively dropped to his lips.

Again.

It was crazy and wonderful at the same time, the waves crashing through me, the growing tension inside. Damn… What if he turned toward me and kissed me? I’d accept it with open arms, like food for a hungry person, a drink in the desert. I didn’t want anything more than for him to do exactly that right now.

Then… sobering. I forced myself to shake these thoughts. What the hell was I thinking? In our horrible situation?

Then… another realization. Why wasn’t this fucking heat going away?

Should I even try to hide it from Winter? We had so much on our plate already. But it wasn’t something I could run from anyway, if it hit with its full power.

The hell with it!

"Listen. There’s something that could make our situation worse, Winter. Something very inconvenient."

"What could be more inconvenient than being stranded on a deserted island?" Winter gave me a crooked smile.

"I’m going into heat."

Winter visibly flinched. It looked like a strong wave of air hit him. He slowly turned his head toward me. Those bright eyes seemed to look at me as if I had just confessed to being from Krypton.

"Excuse me?"

"Exactly what you heard. I’ve already gone through four heats, and I know how they show up. My body couldn’t have picked a worse moment, I know…" I muttered, making a face.

Winter kept staring at me, like he still couldn’t grasp what I was saying. The silence was uncomfortable and made me feel guilty. I was angry at myself, I hated our situation, and the embarrassment that was growing in me.

"Heat?"

"Yeah." I averted my gaze, looking at the opposite cave wall.

Winter sat there unmoving, maybe still dealing with shock.

"I told you I’m not like other people," I added, speaking more quietly, feeling that suffocating awkwardness hovering around, something I had only ever imagined in moments like this, but now, it was all too real.

"What exactly does that mean in your case?" he muttered, his voice sounding lost. This was rare for Winter, he was usually pretty decisive with his tone.

"It means that for the next two days, I’ll be writhing with desire, Winter." I looked him straight in the eyes as I said it, almost challengingly.

Only then did he look away, his gaze abruptly shifting toward the cave entrance, as if he were about to get up and run, to escapethe problemI had just become.

"Maybe they’ll find us before it really kicks in," he muttered in a strained voice.

"Or maybe they won’t find us, and it’ll kick in anyway."

I saw Winter clench and release his fingers, his mind clearly racing. He looked like he wanted to ask something but kept pulling back from it.

Finally, I broke the silence for him.

This had to be said.

"Will you help me, Winter?"

There it was. That desperate proposal. Now he knew I was about to beg him for it, rolling around in the sexual fever, on our hard-earned mattresses.

"I… I’m a beta, Sariel. I won’t be able to go into rut," he muttered, his tone like he was trying to find some small technicality that would make my proposition smoothly go away.

"Something is better than nothing. Even if you just help a little, any relief will be worth its weight in gold."

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