Page 126 of The Heart of Winter

Then he glanced at me. I was still sitting there, completely naked. The heat in this part of the cave was intense, just another thing that made me uneasy about the volcano’s activity.

"I think we should only drink water from melted snow," I said suddenly, eyeing the stream. "If the volcano is this active, who knows what heavy metals might be in the water?"

Winter nodded seriously. "Good point."

Then he added, "Alright. I’m heading out."

"Eat some more peanuts first. We need to keep our energy up, especially you, since you’re going outside."

Winter sighed, but agreed. He took a small handful of nuts, tossed them into his mouth.

Then he hesitated, looking at me again, for some reason I wanted him to say something, before he would go out, but he only raised a hand in a brief farewell while already heading toward the entrance. A second later, he was gone, leaving me feeling a bit weird. But I had no idea why.

WINTER

My head was spinning. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. I was clueless what to make of it. I had just had sex with my employee. And it was his first time. The look on his face when I got up and basically walked out… he seemed confused.

Should I have kissed his cheek? Said something about what just happened? Maybe held him for a while?

But I’d never beenthatguy—the snuggly, cuddly type. For me, it was always just the act of sex, then getting up for the obligatory, thorough shower.

For a second, I thought back to moments from past relationships. The first times with my exes. Me quickly leaving the room… their disappointed faces.

The look in Sariel’s eyes was the same—expectant, vulnerable. And then—fading hope.

Fuck.

With a sudden protest from my leg muscles, I stopped in my tracks.

Why the hell did I treat him like all the others… when I actually liked him so much more? Maybe this was a chance to step out of my suffocating comfort zone. Or maybe I should just leave it?

After all, this had kind of been forced on us, his heat. I wasn’t obligated to suddenly become some romantic guy. That part of me had never really existed. It’d be easier to think of myself as a simple heat servant.

So I forced myself to move again, took a couple more steps, and then I felt… something. Without thinking, I lifted my hand to my chest.

The dreaded, intense beating.

Was my heart trying to tell me something? For the first time ever, I did feel shitty about walking away, like something was missing—for me, too!

Clenching my jaw, I turned and headed back into the cave with decisive strides. It was dark inside, but I could make out his pale shape on the mattress, still sitting where I’d left him.

This time, I didn’t let myself overthink it, I moved before I could scare myself off or start hesitating. I knelt on the mattress and looked into his eyes. They were wide, questioning, like he didn’t understand why I’d come back.

"Sariel… I—" The words stuck in my throat. "I hope it wasn’t… that bad?"

Damn, that was the height of my romanticism. But he reacted anyway.

His eyelashes fluttered a bit. "You didn’t have to come back just to ask that. I know what you told me, that you’re aromantic, and maybe you can’t—"

Something in me snapped. Rebelled. That was new for me! And I moved before I could lose my momentum. I leaned in, cupped the back of his head, and kissed him fiercely.

His lips parted eagerly.

When I pulled back, just a little, our mouths were still close.

"I’m not made of ice, Sariel! I’m flesh and blood too. I do have emotions! I just chose not to give into them for years. That made me… a little messed up. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care how you feel. I do. A lot."

I could barely believe I said it. It didn’t sound like me, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe something in me was finally thawing. Fate knew, I needed a change.

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