Page 13 of The Heart of Winter

Still, my hand moved on its own, switching to my browser. I typed ‘elven prince’ into the search bar. Clicked ‘search’.

A whole list of images popped up. In some strange, trance-like state, I went through them, studying the faces of various elven princes.

And… I actually liked them! I’d never been particularly fascinated by elves before, but now, I started noticing their ethereal charm. I kept scrolling and scrolling, staring absentmindedly at the images.

Then I sighed and thought… Well, if Fate wanted it this way, then why not?

I’ll draw an elven prince! And I really liked how the composition was turning out. Against the dark forest background, the elf’s platinum hair stood out beautifully.

I leaned closer to the screen, fully immersing myself in coloring and filling in every last detail. I worked for a long time, forgetting the passing hours, unaware of how dark it was getting outside.

When the drawing was finally done, I immediately fired up my fabric-printing machine and pulled out a fresh, smooth T-shirt.

A few moments later, my drawing was printed right on the chest area of the shirt.

I took it in my hands, and my gaze landed on two mint-haired kids. My eyes became kind of fixed on the picture, lingering there for a long minute. Something in me was slightly trembling. A family… I could have. Would I be able to find a partner for it? Being such a weirdo?

Who would want me?

Clutching the T-shirt in my hand, I lay down on the bed, my eyes fixed on the picture.

No one knew my secret.

No one except Blue.

He was the one I ran to when I realized I was different. He had a medical background, and the lab equipment to actually figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

I never told my parents, or anyone else.

The shame was unbearable.

When I was nineteen, I woke up one night, twisting in bed with a strange feeling I’d never had before. I wanted—no, needed sex. The problem was, I’d always thought I was an alpha. But suddenly, slick started leaking from my ass. I felt swollen, aching, desperate for someone to plow me.

The realization hit me, I was going into heat. But only omegas went into heat, and I looked like an alpha. I smelled like one! So what the hell?

Panicking, terrified my parents would sniff it on me, I ran straight to Blue. I didn’t know what else to do. He let me lock myself in one of his rooms, where I spent the next two days curled up in agony, my only company a set of dildos.

When it was finally over, Blue ran me through every genetic and hormonal test he could.

And he found I was a mystery. An anomaly. Even the scientists who analyzed my results had only a vague idea of what I really was.

Phenotypically, I presented like an alpha; nothing unusual, nothing that would make anyone suspect I had any kind of mutation just by looking at me.

Blue’s scientists helped determine that I was a rare mix of traits from two subgenders: alpha and omega, making me a true hermaphrodite, not intersex. My sperm was viable; I could impregnate someone, but at the same time, I also produced eggs and could be impregnated myself. Basically, that made me a freak. Someone who looked like an alpha but had omega reproductive organs.

I still remember what Blue said when he saw my test results.

"You would’ve been our ancestors’ dream, the solution to our population crisis." He gave a crooked smile. He was, after all, an expert in the Beta Activation Program, created to counteract that very problem.

And I’d told him, "I’d rather just be normal. Ordinary. Like everyone else. I don’t want to be some weird mutation. I just want to be average… and left the hell alone."

Since that first heat, I’d had a few more. I kept them a secret from my parents, spending those days at Blue’s place instead.

I didn’t know why, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth. And Blue respected my request for discretion. My parents would ask sometimes if I had a boyfriend, if I’d ever bring someone home for dinner. I dodged the questions.

Occasionally, they’d try to set me up with an omega from their social circle, one of those other rich kids. But the thought of somebody finding out that I could go into heat and freaking the hell out made me sick to my stomach. What was I supposed to do then? It was unrealistic to expect omegas to dream about topping alphas. Sure, maybe some had that fantasy, but how was I supposed to find one who did, and was also perfect for me at the same time? Most likely, I’d get laughed at. Rejected. Branded a freak.

An alpha with slick dripping from his ass. A joke. An oddity.

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