Page 140 of The Heart of Winter

Winter’s gaze landed on the next food can, and so did mine.

At the same time, we both lifted our heads, our eyes meeting in silent understanding.

"Maybe we should start a new one," I muttered.

"Maybe we should wait a bit," Winter said thoughtfully.

"Maybe tomorrow we should start rationing," I murmured again. "But today, we still need our strength."

We reached for the can almost simultaneously. I quickly withdrew my hand, letting Winter open it. Each of us took a handful.

For a while, we ate in silence, watching each other. The guilt was written all over our faces.

We both knew this wouldn’t last much longer. Our bodies were demanding more food. That small quantity wasn’t enough. I saw the way Winter’s eyes lingered on the can, just like mine did. It took real effort not to reach for another handful.

"Maybe we should rinse off. You lose less energy in warm water," I muttered, just to say anything.

We slid into the stream quickly, I settled onto my usual rock seat, one leg resting on the rocky streambank. Maybe there was something to what I’d said because the warmth actually helped me detach from my obsessive thoughts about needing more food.

It was alarming, though. It was only the second day, and I already felt this hungry. How was this going to go?

We sat in silence for a while.

"Skye’s son is due in June," Winter said suddenly.

Why was he saying this? Was he afraid he wouldn’t be there to see him?

"Your first nephew, right?"

He looked at me, hesitation flickering across his face.

"No, I actually have a few nephews," he said. "I’ve just never met any of them."

I blinked. "Ah, from your brother, River—the one who ran away?"

"Yes. Only my uncle, Van, has sporadic email contact with him, and he managed to find out that River has children. Five, to be exact."

"Five? Oh my God," I breathed. "Didn’t you guys… try to reach out?"

"My dad tried over and over, but River never wrote back. He clearly wants nothing to do with us."

"I’m really sorry… things like that can cast a shadow over a family’s happiness."

"That’s true," Winter admitted. "My dad suffered a lot because of it. To this day, he always set an extra place at the table… because he still hopes that one day, River will come back."

I brushed my fingers lightly against his arm.

"Maybe one day a miracle will happen, and River will reach out," I murmured.

Winter turned his face toward the cave entrance, where timid rays of sunlight filtered in.

"I don't know. I hope so. Either way, I don’t know his kids, so the first nephew I’ll actually get to see will be Skye’s son. That is… if Ieverget to see him."

The statement sounded rather gloomy. Almost instinctively, I searched for some light, turning my gaze toward the sliver of sky visible outside the cave, pale gray, with the sun barely piercing through the heavy clouds.

After a brief hesitation, I decided to ask another question, one important to me.

"Have you ever thought about having kids of your own? I mean, you know, through adoption?"

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