Page 15 of The Heart of Winter

My voice was embarrassingly unsteady. My whole body was practically vibrating from nerves and stress. It just wasn’t me. I hated being the one to ask. I was the lonely geek with my nose in books, grinding for the best grades and keeping my distance from the other students. They hated me anyway, always calling me names. 'Snowman' was the one that stuck.

For a long moment, Logan just stared at me, kind of stunned. And then it happened—

He burst out laughing.

And I stood there like an idiot, shifting from foot to foot, my throat dry and tight. I had no idea what to say, how to react, I only knew this was not how it was supposed to go. Not what I imagined.

"You’re serious? Me and you?"

What was I even supposed to say to that?

He let out a dramatic sigh. "Do you really think my dream is to date some albino beta? Seriously, I'd be a laughingstock. People would point at me in the halls."

For a second, there was silence, like he’d just realized what he’d said. A flicker of hesitation crossed his face, maybe he knew he’d gone too far. After all, he needed to stay in the programmers’ club, and I was the guy in charge. The teacher pretty much went along with whatever I wanted. He gave me an apologetic look, sighed, and added,

"Look, sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that. I do appreciate you always having my back when the other guys in the group were giving me shit and wanted to kick me out. That was really cool of you. But I just… I’m not interested in you like that."

I still didn’t say anything.

I wanted to disappear.

I wanted to cry myself to death.

But along with the humiliation, another emotion was rising inside me: rage. A new feeling, but shockingly strong. Soon, it encompassed me completely, leaving nothing else.

"You know," I said, my voice vibrating with anger, "this albino beta is also the best coder in the club. And you’re the weakest. If it weren’t for me, if I hadn’t talked to Diaz and practically begged him to give you a chance, you would’ve been kicked out. And now you will be. You’re just a pathetic alpha. You aren’t cut out for this."

Logan’s mouth dropped open. "Gosh, you’re such a bitch!"

"And you’re an asshole! You could’ve just said, ‘No, thanks’. You didn’t have to be a dick about it!"

"Come on, man! If I’m not in this club, what the hell am I supposed to put on my college app? Without this, I’m fucked!"

Keeping my expression cold and contemptuous, I lifted my hand, flipped him off, spun on my heel, and walked away.

Humiliation and fury burned inside me, tangled together. The first and last time I would ever ask someone out. Especially alphas.

For months, I had built up so much courage for this, pushed myself so hard! I thought he actually liked me, he was always talking to me, always asking for help with coding! And I did help him, over and over. Gosh, I was such an idiot. He was just using me.

I got home absolutely seething.

On my way up the stairs, my dad, who was in the living room spoon-feeding Sun, looked up at me. A moment later, I heard his footsteps following.

By the time I opened my bedroom door, he was already behind me.

"Winter?"

"What?!"

A pause.

I sighed and muttered, "Sorry. Just a bad day."

"Really bad?" he asked gently.

"Absolutely shitty."

He came closer, and suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me.

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